| We have a fuckin', uh, incredible show for you tonight | 
| Pardon me for saying «Fuckin'» on network television— | 
| I’m not gonna have this job for long—It's Exile! | 
| It’s me, it’s you. | 
| These are our guests | 
| Let’s go. | 
| Yeah | 
| I gave up and became a Spotify-er | 
| Paying myself a fraction of a penny playing «Qualifiers» | 
| I’m looking up and I’m stuck in a Chucky movie | 
| Saying yucky shit for chuckles like it’s Lucky Louie | 
| So somebody better cancel me | 
| Before I get a chance to screen this ass-naked dance routine | 
| It’s dark comedy, cold as a soldier’s stare | 
| I’ve been exposed, so now the LOLs is my over-wear | 
| And I’m a polar bear with words for a fancy song | 
| I think it’s the first verse from Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong | 
| Fuck you, I like the Spin Doctors | 
| Is that dude Finn’s father or just an impostor? | 
| The new internet thing’s to be pretend awkward | 
| Non-prescription, thick-rimmed frames and rented gym lockers | 
| I’m a rapper, we lament being broke | 
| All the comics get money, but they spend it on coke | 
| You can watch us on the newsfeeds | 
| Fucking y’all’s mornings up | 
| Until America admits that it likes dogs more than us | 
| And I can see the Super Bowls of the future: | 
| The Ferguson blacks vs. Missouri State Troopers | 
| The privacy rights vs. the personal computers | 
| Concussion researchers vs. university boosters | 
| I graduated college, I purchased all the extra books | 
| I’m supposed to be living in a house with a breakfast nook | 
| Joke’s on me, though | 
| All this cheap alcohol and no Coke Zero | 
| Ashamed how proximity kills yo heroes | 
| Hey, yo, no poking, I’m still woke, Cee-Lo | 
| Yeah, It’s all ripped from the headlines | 
| I’m all outta options like a Crip on the red line | 
| I got a deadline, before I never had a deal | 
| Stormed out of business meetings, slipped on mass banana peels | 
| I should probably shut my stupid mouth | 
| Shirtless in a fur hat and Vladimir Putin pout | 
| And North Korea’s got practice missiles | 
| And I still check Yahoo cause we both got attachment issues | 
| Our Congress moves just like a cult could | 
| Invade Iraq 15 times in my adulthood | 
| And we quit asking for the reasons | 
| And clicked the Constitution’s terms of service agreements | 
| We’re dreaming from sundown to high noon | 
| And woke up by U2 albums all in your iTunes | 
| And it’s close to a all out war | 
| With kids being murdered just for being black and tall outdoors | 
| They respond to demonstrations wearing kevlar briefs | 
| When the main problem is nobody respects our grief | 
| They say if it bends it’s funny, if it breaks it ain’t though | 
| I still got broke pockets and trying to host the Late Show | 
| Recording it every night, but I don’t know where the tape go | 
| Homeless fashionistas tell me everything that they know | 
| Yeah, you got a style | 
| Tie them fancy sandals up, smile | 
| You on the NSA’s candid cameras, now | 
| I’m in a church basement learning Shotokan | 
| I saw Jesus taking a selfie and I photobombed | 
| And dude better tag me | 
| A little recognition makes me do better gladly | 
| Like this one time when I got booed at a track meet | 
| In a Hellfyre Club sweater for two letter athletes | 
| One for regret dreams, one for most suppressed team | 
| Pressure valve gets released and sprays like a jet stream | 
| Karl Kani’s and Z Cavaricci’s from Chess King | 
| K-Mart name brands were the least interesting | 
| I appreciated presidential speeches on the West Wing | 
| I never had wet dreams or piloted an X-Wing | 
| I’m still terrible at being sarcastic black | 
| My man Exile, he knows what I’m laughing at | 
| My man Toy-Light, he knows what I’m laughing at | 
| The studio audience knows what I’m laughing at | 
| Laughing at all types of shit | 
| I laugh at, um, CNN. | 
| I don’t know why | 
| That might be an issue; | 
| that might be a problem actually | 
| It’s not, it’s not a humorous channel, you know what I mean? | 
| It’s not trying to compete with Comedy Central | 
| If anything, it’s trying to compete with Headline News | 
| Which I’m pretty sure is like the same company | 
| Or it’s trying to compete with, uh, MSNBC kinda | 
| MSNBC is blue and to the left | 
| CNN is red, white, and black, and in the middle | 
| And Fox News is bright red and hollerin', and on the right | 
| And there’s an elephant and a donkey | 
| And then an eledonkeyphant. | 
| A donkaphant | 
| Uh, a helladonkaphant. | 
| Shit |