| You’re annoyed when I talk during the film
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| It’s just another classic that you haven’t seen (still!)
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| Just another ill-in-the-head in the plot;
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| «Norman Bates, is that all you got?
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| Might have guessed from the name of the thing.» |
| Don’t complain
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| That you never heard the ending of The Crying Game
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| Well, it’s a penis, and at this point a shaggy dog
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| (which is: nothing to see here; move along)
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| The Apes rule the Earth. |
| Vader’s poppa to Luke
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| Brad Pitt and Ed Norton are obviously two
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| People, but they’ve got to share one character
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| Bruce ain’t alive, kid, no matter how he stares at you
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| Snape kills Dumbledore but with a noble motive
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| Everybody’s guilty on the Oriental locomotive
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| Veidt’s villainy ends world squabbling
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| And Deckard is a replicant (probably)
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| Say I ruin everything for you — well, it’s mutual. |
| Well, it’s mutual
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| Don’t wager on survival for Bambi’s mom
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| Artax, Old Yeller, Mufasa, King Kong
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| All spawn of Medea should fear for your throat
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| All on the Titanic should fear for your boat
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| Yo, Frontalot gave it away before it happened
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| If you’re in Moby Dick then I hope you’re not the captain;
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| If you are, then I urge: rethink revenge
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| Cause you’re headed for the bottom and you’re bringing your friends
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| Fall into Wonderland then you’re definitely dreaming
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| Sleeping by the stream, and all is only seeming
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| If you’re in the Bible, it ends in Armageddon
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| If you’re in the Y2K, it’s less upsetting
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| If you’re living in the 80s, spoiler: gay Wham!
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| Space ships can blow up. |
| Trickle-down economics is a scam
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| But you’ll figure that out
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| I don’t want to wreck the ending for you, make you pout
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| Say I ruin everything for you — well, it’s mutual
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| In the future, do not do what you do
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| If you’re in the French Revolution, I warn it won’t last
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| If you’re in the Kennedy clan, beware a muzzle flash
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| Airplanes, also, quite often destroyed them
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| And if you’re a Lennon, there’s a Chapman. |
| Avoid him
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| Boy when I’m spoiling the ending you frown
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| No empire lasts forever, go to town
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| But if you’re old Rome, look out for that Nero
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| In case you’re a countdown, look out for zero
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| Any time you’re a ticking bomb, explode
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| (and nobody make it out except Horatio)
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| Cause every peanut brittle’s got a snake inside
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| And Jacks-in-the-box, meant to startle, pop high
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| If you didn’t know already, I’ll apologize
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| Peek-a-boo's a game; |
| it’s a trick of the eyes
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| Not a bending of reality itself
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| Spoiler for infants: adults use stealth |