| Aw, we got another pub anthem for ya
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| Hello
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| This song right here is about, uh
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| Making out with somebody
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| And never talking to them again
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| And basically, how jealousy is a weak emotion
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| And how it’s ruining the world
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| That’s right!
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| Make out with the universe now!
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| I wanna walk into a bar
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| Find myself a girl
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| Introduce myself
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| Tell her that I like her shoes
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| Tell her she can buy her own drinks
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| I pull her to a dark corner
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| Kiss her and make her heart sink
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| It’s funny when the thugs with the tattoos think
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| That I’m a nerdy ass bird faced classroom geek
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| They walk by me and they don’t even speak (word)
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| Then they find their girlfriend propped up on the bathroom sink
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| She’s kissing me
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| We feelin the rhythm of slow drums
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| Givin delicate kisses with little to no tongue
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| It’s so fun
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| She happily will follow the mirage
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| She’s warm like a bottle of Shiraz (Goddamn)
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| There’s something so especially unique
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| About a girl that thinks her boyfriend’s jealousy is weak
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| So right before he punches me and breaks my nose
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| I touch her whole entire body with the make out rows
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| Keep your little love thing away from me
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| Keep your one night stand away from me
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| Keep your damn jealousy away from me
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| You should probably stay away from me
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| She wants to walk into a bar, find herself a boy
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| Introduce herself, tell him that she likes his ink
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| Tell him she can buy her own drinks
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| Pull him to a dark corner, bite his neck and make his heart sink
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| Play the harp strings in him, feel the sharp sting lightly
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| She got a sweet burn like a Long Beach ice tea
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| He feels flattered
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| He feels like such a bachelor
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| He asks for her name
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| But she says it doesn’t matter
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| Like «Listen up boy, you’re not my boo you’re not my king
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| Don’t say another word you’re gonna ruin everything
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| I’m just choosin every dream that I’ve had with my flavor»
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| She’s a humanitarian, she’s not a player (damn)
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| She doesn’t drink til she can’t comprehend
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| Therefore she doesn’t wake up next to random body skin
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| And she’ll keep every bobby pin, bracelet, and necklace
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| And tells him you will not regret this
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| Keep your little love thing away from me
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| Keep your one night stand away from me
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| Keep your damn jealousy away from me
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| You should probably stay away from me
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| You gotta put away the jealousy and drama, let it go, let it go
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| You gotta put away the guns in your rap songs, let 'em go, let 'em go
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| You gotta swallow that weak-ass anger, let it go let it go
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| You gotta stop takin life so serious and let it go
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| Make out with the universe now
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| I wanna walk into a venue
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| Find myself Bjork
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| Introduce myself
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| Tell her that I like her music
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| Ask her if she’ll purchase me a car
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| Take her outside then I’ll kiss her underneath the bright stars
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| From Shawnee Mission West back to Raytown High
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| I had to serenade my baby with the K-town vibe
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| I hit the switches on the tre pound five
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| And make Icelandic love on the playground slide
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| Cause I’m the make out guy
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| Keep your little love thing away from me
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| Keep your one night stand away from me
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| Keep your damn jealousy away from me
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| Cause I’m a makeout bandit
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| If you don’t understand it
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| You should probably stay away from me |