Lyrics of Eskapo - Loonie, John Roa

Eskapo (original)

Kapayapaan sa sarili kailan ko pa ba matatagpuan
Araw-araw na lang ang pag-aalala parang wala na siyang katapusan
Dumudugo ng luha ang mga mata pag ang puso’y sugatan
Gusto ko nang lumuha ng dugo, para ulo’y gumaan
Gusto ko nang matulog, bukas ipagpapatuloy ko na lang
Baka alam mo kung saan ang tamang daanan pakituro mo naman
Kasi gusto kong tingnan kung nasa’n nga ba ang pinagbuhatan
Ng kasalukuyan, ang hinaharap ay pinangunahan
Pinarusahan nabilanggo sa nakaraan na kinamulatan
Hindi na rin makapaghintay pa sa pagdating ng kinabukasan
Kaya ako ay pumalaot, nagpaanod, at inabot pa ng bagyo
Sumasabog ang mga alon at pinasok na ang barko
Ang kisame ng kabaong ko’y puro kalmot ng kuko
Ramdam ko na naman bigla ang ginaw na bumabalot sa buto
Nako po
Habagat na ang ihip, pag malamig magkumot
Magdamag nasa isip, masasakit na hugot
Masamang panaginip, ang kalakip ng tulog
Kaharap pagkagising, mas malaking bangungot
Kaya
Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
Di ko na alam kung saan ako dinadala
Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
Minsan gusto ko na lang na mawala na
Huwag kang magpapalimita sa iisang plano
('wag na 'wag, 'wag na 'wag)
Imbis na mainip pagisipan pa ng maigi kung pa’no
(Magdamag, magdamag)
Malimit, mahilig magbilin sa ibang tao
Ngunit tila di ko masunod-sunod ang sarili kong payo
Katahimikan nakahiligan, kapaligiran parang libingan
At kahit minsan walang bisita nasa dilim at nakangiti lang
Naging pihikan sa pagibig, maging sa kaibigan
Napili kong piitan ay ang sarili kong isipan
Kaya maya’t maya natataranta sa mga nakaamba na pangamba
Kailangan ng pampakalma ayoko nang maalala ang pagaalala
Nakakawala ng gana, isip ay parang ibong lumilipad
Sa loob ng hawla na gawa sa mga negatibong posibilidad
Habagat na ang ihip, pag malamig magkumot
Magdamag nasa isip, masasakit na hugot
Masamang panaginip, ang kalakip ng tulog
Kaharap pagkagising, mas malaking bangungot
Kaya madalas ay
Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
Di ko na alam kung saan ako dinadala
Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
Minsan gusto ko nalang na mawala na
Minsan lapis at papel ang mas madaling kausap
Sakit sa ulo, ang sabi ng iba ito’y sakit sa utak
Kada gabi nagmamadali na makarating sa ulap
Bukas magkatabi na butas ng ilong may nakatakip na bulak
Balisong sa pulso, kwarenta’y singkong nakatutok sa bibig
Pero parang gusto ko yung kumot nakapulupot sa leeg
Ang gulo ng buong daigdig, wala naman yatang gustong makinig
Mas masarap pang mamundok, o kaya magmukmok sa sulok ng pook na liblib
Puno ang dibdib ng kawalan ng pag-asa parang kusang sumusuko ang katawan sa mga
pasan na wala ng hupa
Para kang sa Alcatraz pumuga, sa taas ay nakakalula
Makaalpas ka man sa mga bara paglabas ay wala nang lupa
At kung makatakas ka man, mahal mo naman sa buhay ang sasakluban
Nakakabuwang, lahat tayo balang araw isa lang ang hahantungan
Kapayapaan sa sarili tsaka ko na lang to natagpuan
Nung ang makitid ko na pagiisip ang siyang nagawa ko na matakbuhan
Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
Di ko na alam kung saan ako dinadala
(Di ko na alam)
Gusto lang namang kumawala
(Gusto lang namang kumawala)
(Gusto lang naman)
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
(Kahit pansamantala)
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
Minsan gusto ko nalang na mawala na

(translation)

Peace in myself when can I find it?
Every day the worry seems to have no end
Eyes bleed with tears when the heart is wounded
I want to shed blood, so that my head can lighten up
I want to sleep, tomorrow I will continue
Maybe you know where the right path is, please point me to it
Because I want to see where the origin is
Of the present, the future is led
Punished imprisoned in the past
Can't wait for tomorrow to come either
So I drifted, drifted, and was even caught by a storm
The waves are breaking and the ship has come in
The ceiling of my coffin was all scratched by nails
I suddenly feel the cold that wraps around my bones
Oh no
The wind is from the south, when it's cold, cover yourself with blankets
All night on the mind, painful pulls
Bad dreams, the attachment of sleep
Facing waking up, a bigger nightmare
So
I just want to get away
Of mind even temporarily
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
I don't know where I'm being taken
I just want to get away
Of mind even temporarily
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
Sometimes I just want to disappear
Don't limit yourself to a single plan
(don't, don't, don't)
Instead of being bored, think carefully about what to do
(All night, all night)
Often, likes to order other people
But I can't seem to follow my own advice
Silence inclined, environment like a grave
And sometimes there is no visitor in the dark and just smiling
Became a lover, even a friend
My chosen dungeon is my own mind
So little by little panicked with the dreaded fears
Need a sedative I don't want to remember the worry
Loss of appetite, mind is like a flying bird
Inside a cage made of negative possibilities
The wind is from the south, when it's cold, cover yourself with blankets
All night on the mind, painful pulls
Bad dreams, the attachment of sleep
Facing waking up, a bigger nightmare
So often is
I just want to get away
Of mind even temporarily
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
I don't know where I'm being taken
I just want to get away
Of mind even temporarily
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
Sometimes I just want to disappear
Sometimes pencil and paper are easier to communicate with
Headache, others say it's brain pain
Every night rushes to reach the cloud
Open side by side nostrils covered with flowers
Sword on the wrist, forty-five points pointed at the mouth
But I like the blanket wrapped around the neck
The whole world is a mess, no one seems to want to listen
It's even better to climb a mountain, or hide in the corner of a remote area
The chest is full of despair as if the body is giving up on its own
a burden that will never subside
It's like you're in Alcatraz, you're dizzy at the top
Even if you get past the obstacles, there is no land left
And even if you escape, you will love the one who will be trapped in life
It's crazy, we all end up one day
I just found peace with myself
When my narrow thinking was what I was able to run
I just want to get away
Of mind even temporarily
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
I don't know where I'm being taken
(I really do not know)
I just want to get away
(Just want to get away)
(I just want to)
Of mind even temporarily
(At least temporarily)
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
Sometimes I just want to disappear