| There’s a princess
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| In a tower
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| Oh my gosh, that’s just like me!
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| Poor Rapunzel
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| Needs a haircut
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| But the witch won’t set her free
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| She passes time by singing
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| Like someone else I know
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| As years go by she sits and waits
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| As years go by? |
| Uh oh
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| A torturous existence
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| I don’t remember this part!
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| She wishes she were dead?
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| Skip ahead! |
| Skip ahead!
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| But in the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire
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| The prince is good at climbing
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| And braiding golden hair!
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| So I know, he’ll appear
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| Cause there are rules and there are strictures
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| I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight
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| My white knight, and his steed
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| Will look just like these pictures!
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| It won’t be long now, I guarantee!
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| Day number… Twenty three
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| I know it’s today
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| I know it’s today!
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| Oh here’s a good one! |
| It’s a classic!
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| There’s a princess
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| In a coma
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| Glad it’s her instead of me
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| Pretty maiden
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| In a glass box
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| How I wonder does she pee?
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| Blah blah blah, poison apple
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| Boring boring, evil queen
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| Filler filler, been there, read that!
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| Seven shorties on the scene
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| Skip ahead, skip ahead!
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| But in the end the princess wakes up with a start
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| The prince is good at kissing
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| And melting Snow White’s heart!
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| So I know, he’ll appear
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| And his armor will be blinding!
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| As shining as his perfect teeth
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| And manly hose
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| He’ll propose
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| On one knee
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| And our pre-nup will be binding!
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| About time we set the wedding date!
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| Day number nine hundred and fifty eight
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| I know it’s today
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| He’ll show up today!
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| There’s a princess!
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| Any princess!
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| Take your pick, they’re all like me!
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| Not exactly, I’m still waiting!
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| They’re out living happily
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| Ever after better get here
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| I want love in seconds flat!
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| No one needs these middle bits
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| Oops, did I do that?
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| Cut the villains, cut the vamping
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| Cut this fairy tale
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| Cut the peril and the pitfalls
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| Cut the puppet and the whale!
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| Cut the monsters! |
| Cut the curses!
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| Keep the intro! |
| Cut the verses!
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| And the waiting! |
| The waiting! |
| The waiting! |
| The waiting!
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| The waiting!
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| But I know, he’ll appear
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| Though I seem a bit bipolar…
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| And I’m a vandal now as well, hope he won’t mind
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| I’m a find, I’m a catch
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| And a very gifted bowler!
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| It won’t be long now, I guarantee!
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| Day number…
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| Are you there god?
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| It’s me Fiona
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| It’s me Fiona!
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| Now I know, he’ll appear
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| Cause there are rules and there are strictures
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| I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight
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| My white knight, my knight and his steed
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| Will look just like these pictures!
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| It won’t be long now, I guarantee!
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| Day number twenty three
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| Day number nine fifty-eight
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| Day number eight thousand, four hundred and… Twenty three
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| I know it’s today, oooo!
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| I know it’s today, oooo!
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| I know it’s today, oooo!
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| I know it’s today, oooo!
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| I know it’s today, oooo!
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| I know it’s today
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| I know it’s today! |