| My head is pounding, I can’t stop the pounding
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| I think it is going to explode
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| And kill everybody who’s in close proximity
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| To the place I call my home
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| And they’ll make a moving «made for TV» movie
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| For Life Time all about my life
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| That ends with an epitaph one that will make you laugh
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| That says «Great mom okay wife»
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| At it’ll be funny to the people who know me
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| Who know if my body’s not burned
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| My soul will spend an eternity in misery
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| Tethered and bound to this earth
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| So I’m not a dick or a stick in the mud
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| Always ruining things for my friends
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| I mustn’t forget when I see the sun set that
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| Tomorrow it will rise again
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| So I tattoo instructions on my ass
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| That say «don't ever put this body in a casket
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| Burn it and put the ashes in a basket
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| And throw them in the Puget Sound
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| I don’t ever want to be underground»
|
| Oh no, oh no
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| I’m wearing size thirteen basketball shoes
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| And lavender fishnets, I’m freaked out and fucked up
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| And I’m standing alone in an alley with you
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| Wanting to show you a cure for your hiccups
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| But instead I close my eyes
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| The needles are numbered so I’m writing you letters
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| And I cannot disguise
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| The fact that I’m nervous when we are together
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| And so I fantasize
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| That the nights will get shorter and the days will get better
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| I feel a kick inside and decide
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| If this is a girl I’m naming her Heather
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| She’ll look just like you, but her hair will be feathered
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| She’ll say how you died before you ever met her
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| Her hair will be feathered
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| My head is pounding, I can’t stop the pounding
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| I think it is going to explode
|
| There are plus and minuses to sinusitis
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| Like sometimes I get to go home
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| But mostly it hurts so bad I think I’m dying
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| I just blew my nose and now I feel like crying
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| And the dreams I have are all of my past lives
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| And the seizures would paralyze me in the night
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| And I wake up, clutching my teddy bear tight
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| And I’m drooling and trying to turn on the light
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| All I can do is hold fast and sit tight
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| But what if they forget, 'cause you know they just might
|
| So I tattoo instructions on my ass
|
| That say «don't ever put this body in a casket
|
| Burn it and put the ashes in a basket
|
| And throw them in the Puget Sound
|
| I don’t ever want to be underground»
|
| Oh no, oh no |