| This morning everything was going great
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| Woke up on top of it all
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| Honestly, I didn’t see that I would fall
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| Flash-forward and I really cannot overstate
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| How totally my ship went down
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| And now my son might run me out of town
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| I’d love to change what I have done
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| But I don’t have that kind of control
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| Failed Father Island, here I come
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| Where I’ll eat only sand and poop in a hole
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| I thought I was a genius
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| But it turns out I just a dumb dad
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| A prrrt on a scale of one to ten
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| Why didn’t I foresee this?
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| I ruined this day and now I’m sad
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| Please, can we do today again?
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| Hello, today is going great
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| Knock wood, I’m on top of it all
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| Honestly, I never expected this windfall
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| At home, my heart began to palpitate
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| Wasn’t sure how this would go down
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| I fully thought my ship would run aground
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| My daughter’s a bad-ass chess-machine
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| And I’ve never been more proud
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| I’m as giddy as a mom could be
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| But now I’m not afraid to say aloud
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| I guess I’m a genius
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| A mom who puts other moms to shame
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| A hell yeah on a scale of one to ten
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| Bow down before my queen-ness
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| I will check every mate in every game
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| Please, can we do today again?
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| I wanna unsay (the winner is here)
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| So much of today (for mom of the year)
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| I wanna have a chance to replay (I'll take my crown)
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| I wanna do over (and rose bouquet)
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| Don’t make much ado over (this feels pretty great)
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| Don’t wanna stew over (so why not just celebrate the)
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| Surprise that was today
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| So call me a genius
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| A mom (a dad)
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| On top of the game
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| A woo on a scale of one to ten
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| I want to decree this
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| A day to put in the hall of fame (shame)
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| Please, can we do today again? |