Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Hot Pockets, artist - Jim Gaffigan. Album song Beyond The Pale, in the genre Date of issue: 06.02.2006
Age restrictions: 18+
Record label: Comedy Central
Song language: English
Hot Pockets |
| Im a little slow tonight |
| I had a hot pocket for dinner. |
| Good to see im not the only white trash here. |
| Crowd cheers |
| I buy the hot pockets, |
| I go in Grocery Stores and im like |
| «Yeah i’ll get these.» |
| I’ve never eaten a hot pocket |
| And then afterwards said, |
| «I'm glad I ate that.» |
| Then I was like, |
| «I'm gonna die…» |
| «I paid for that?» |
| «Did I eat it or rub it on my face?» |
| «My BACK HURTS!» |
| «OOOhhhhh» |
| I was looking at a box of hot pockets, |
| They have a warning on the side… |
| It’s like: |
| «WARNING YOU JUST BOUGHT HOT POCKETS» |
| «I hope you’re drunk or heading home to a trailer.» |
| «You hill billy enjoy the next nascar event.» |
| Hot Pocket! |
| Crowd cheers |
| I like NASCAR hes a jerk. |
| You never see that on a menu when you go to dinner. |
| Its like, «I'll have the ceaser salad and the hot pocket.» |
| «Tonights special we have a sea bass that is boiled, |
| And a hot pocket… |
| Which is cooked in a dirty microwave. |
| And that comes with the side of pepto.» |
| «Is you’re hot pocket cold in the middle??? |
| Its frozen.» |
| «But it can be served boiling lava hot.» |
| «Will it burn my mouth?» |
| «It will destroy your mouth. |
| Everything will taste like rubber for a month.» |
| «I'll have the hot pocket.» |
| Hot Pocket! |
| Hot pockets… yeah… |
| Haven’t been around that long, |
| Like 10 years |
| How’d they come up with it? |
| Was their this guy in a marketing meeting like, |
| «Hey I have an idea. |
| How bout we fill a poptart with nasty meat? |
| We could cook it in a sleeve thing. |
| You could dunk it in the toilet.» |
| long pause |
| There is the vegitarian hot pocket |
| For those of us who don’t want to eat meat, |
| But would still like diaheera. |
| Diaheera Pocket! |
| Do you notice there is no dignified way to buy, |
| Toliet paper? |
| You always had to buy that multi-pack of 18 rolls. |
| Stick it in the car and the store people are like, |
| «Does he ever leave the bathroom?» |
| «What is he… living off of hot pockets?» |
| Hot pocket! |
| Theres the lean pocket, |
| I don’t want to know whats in there… |
| Imagine the directions: |
| «Take out of box and put directly in toilet.» |
| Flush pocket! |
| Crowd cheers |
| Recently they introduced the breakfast hot pocket. |
| Finally! |
| I can’t think of a better way to start the day! |
| «Good Moooorrning!!» |
| «You're about to call in sick.» |
| Hot pocket! |
| Crowd Cheers |
| You could have a hot pocket for breakfast, |
| A hot pocket for lunch, |
| And be dead by dinner. |
| Dead Pocket! |
| Do love that jangle. |
| Do you think they worked hard on that song? |
| «What do you got so far, Bill?» |
| «Uh… uh… hot pocket?» |
| «Thats good, thats very good. |
| Not as good as you buying (something), |
| But it’s good. |
| Now what are we going to run in Mexico?» |
| «K&K pocket?» |
| «You got a gift, my friend. |
| Don’t hide that in a bushel basket.» |
| Hot pocket! |
| I saw a commerical for a chicken pot pie hot pocket. |
| Now their just messin' with us. |
| Just a matter of time: |
| «Have you tried the hot pocket hot pocket? |
| It’s a hot pocket filled with a hot pocket. |
| It tastes just like a hot pocket.» |
| Might as well stick my head in a microwave, |
| Hot pocket! |
| «He went crazy up there… |
| I have no idea what he was doing there at the end, |
| I thought he was doin' drugs or somethin', |
| It was weeiiiirrrddd. |