| Elf: woooo somebody done been to the Walmart
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| Jeff: Man this is just the stuff i got for Christmas
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| Elf: Well you cleaned up watcha get?
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| Jeff: 5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin' dogs,
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| and some parts to a mustang GT
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| Elf: Youbo you got Jeff first 12 days of Christmas
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| Jeff: I know that i got it covered look over there in the corner
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| Elf: that’s yours too?
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| Jeff: yeah 12 pack of bud, 11 wrastlin tickets, 10 of copenhagen,
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| 9 years probation, 8 table dancers, 7 packs of red man, 6 spam (woo),
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| 5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin' dogs,
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| and some parts to a mustang GT
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| Elf: Man these ain’t normal Christmas Presents
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| Jeff: Nah there redneck gifts
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| Elf: Redneck gifts?
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| Jeff: Yeah you know like if you buy your wife
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| Earring that double as fishing hooks or if you can burp the entire chorus of
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| Jingle Bells, Perhaps you think the Nutcracker is something you did off the
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| high dive, or if you’ve ever misspelled something in Christmas lights,
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| or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus |
| Elf: What’s wrong with that?
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| Jeff: I didn’t say anythings wrong with its hard to beat 12 pack of bud,
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| 11 wrastlin' tickets, 10 of copenhagen, 9 years probation, 8 table dancers,
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| 7 packs of red man, 6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires,
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| 3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin' dogs, and some parts to a Mustang Gt
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| Elf: Well you know you can’t really consider it a Chrismas unless you go down
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| to the penatentry and visit ya momma
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| Jeff: You’re not listenin to me get the car key outta your ear that’s where the
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| nine years probation comes in I’mma do it for you again, now listen
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| 12 pack of bud, 11 wrastlin tickets, 10 of copenhagen, 9 years probation,
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| 8 table dancers, 7 packs of red man, 6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts,
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| 4 big mud tires, 3 shot guns shells, 2 huntin' dogs, and some parts to a
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| mustang GT
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| Jeff: Are you crying?
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| Elf: No its just my allergies
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| Jeff: Happy Holidays everybody! |