| If you’ve ever been on television more than 5 times |
| describing what the tornadoes sounded like… |
| You might be a redneck. |
| If you’ve ever cut your grass and found a car… |
| you might be a redneck. |
| If your dad walks you to school because your in the same grade… |
| you might be a redneck. |
| If you’ve ever been too drunk to fish… |
| If somebody asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle. |
| If every day somebody comes to your house mistakenly thinking your having a |
| yard sale. |
| If you’ve ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend |
| your sister’s honor. |
| You might be a redneck. |
| If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain… |
| you might be a redneck. |
| They always make fun of the way I talk, I keep telling them I said your gonna be |
| real surprised when you get into the habit in St. Petersburg and say, |
| «Y'all get into the truck, we goin up to the big house.» |
| If you’ve ever financed a tattoo… |
| If you’ve ever made change in the offering plate… |
| you might be a redneck. |
| we have words in the south they don’t have in other parts of the country. |
| Now, you come to the south, we have words like… yu'nt to. |
| We goin to the mall, yu’nt to? |
| What letter does that start with, does anybody know? |
| I like this word alot… aight. |
| That’s a word in Texas… aight. |
| Round lunch time every day, you’ll hear somebody say, |
| «hey jeet yet, naw, dju? Yu’nt to? Aight.» |
| If you go to the family reunion to meet women… |
| If you smoked during your wedding… |
| you might be a redneck. |
| And last but not least |
| if you see a sign that says say no to crack, |
| and it reminds you to pull your jeans up… |
| you might be a redneck. |