| «And then 4 months down the road the idiot gear kicks in
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| And I ask about the ex-boyfriend which
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| As we all know is a really dumb move but you know how it is --
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| You don’t want to know, but you just have to know, right?
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| You know, stupid guy bullshit.»
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| Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls:
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| In this corner quivering in the white trunks
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| We have the unsuspecting boyfriend facing up to the champion
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| His well-seasoned girlfriend
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| The three knockdown rule is in full effect
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| Ding Ding
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| That’s the sound of curiousity peaking like cops that pat you down
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| Boyfriends probably seeking the dirt on the skirt as if he’s deep in the earth
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| Like who had reached in the shirt and who was sleeping with her, but hey --
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| She’s only human and probably only doing the dude who she loves most
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| So you know who she’s screwing
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| But while you’re lying there spooning assuming life is just all good
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| You indavertently missed the size of the falsehood
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| Living life in a small hood you probably collide
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| With lots of the guys who used to climb on top of your wife |
| So it’s not a surprise you’re asking the stupidest questions:
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| 'Who was the best in the sack?' |
| and 'How many dudes have you slept with?'
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| But the chance is, you didn’t want them answers
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| And can’t live with it she used to be just a dancer
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| Making the fast tips you would stuff her pants with
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| And fast as mass transit she thought you were romantic
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| I’m so glad we met (hey shorty)
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| Come on girl try to be patient, I know I’m a pain in the ass
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| But your ex-boyfriend has me stressed (back off dude)
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| And all of the sex stuff should just remain in the past
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| But we can’t get married yet, (no we can’t get married yet)
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| It isn’t just that its greener, its also the length of the grass
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| But somehow you keep on running to me -- and we keep living in fear of the
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| idiot gear
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| Right about this time, most of y’all are just wishin that this was fiction
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| And itchin to ask your chick if your dick isn’t a depiction
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| Of fitting inside a stitching when you’re sewing it up
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| And to think that most of this stuff is just over a fuck |
| I know what you’re thinking, we’ve all grown up with women
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| And living without em seems like its harder than living with em
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| But if you hit em, you’ll probably end up living in prison fellas
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| Then you’ll be someone’s bitch -- I hope your girlfriend isn’t jealous
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| This cinderella shit is totally irrelevant
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| You’ll never get a girl older than 7 thats been celibate
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| Cause every chick has been around the block with a guy or ten
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| And guys are sensitive, its better that you lie to them
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| Even the violent men who’s dressed up in street clothes
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| With stilettos and heat knows they got delicate egos
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| If she chose to tell you all persons with whom
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| She put in work in the room, it would burst your balloon
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| Looking at your sweetest snapshot, that’s when you start to wonder
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| About the backdrop of her other lovers
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| When you discover another flick of her hidden up under there
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| Dressed in summer wear, with her ex giving her bunny ears
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| And no one wants to share their chick with last guy
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| To get rid of the bad vibes you figured you ask why |
| Her past life is still chilling in the picture frame
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| She’d probably forget his name if the dick’s the same
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| Which is lame, but for some dumb reason
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| The last bum seeps into your dreams and you become unseasoned
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| Then one evening, you build up the heart to ask her
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| Disaster -- with your lungs breathin hard as asthma
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| And after she breaks down and tells you the truth
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| It leads to a fight and she’s yelling at you
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| And I’m convinced of this: being your queen’s only king
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| Yo man see Louis right -- ignorance is bliss
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| Oh what’s a guy to do
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| Now listen to me papi
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| You’re all fucking idiots
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| How do you like them apples?
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| «You know what I don’t think we need to do the thing
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| Where we tell each other everything …» |