| I’m the cop in a little bitty town
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| And I don’t get much pay
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| Oh, but I caught seventeen out of state cars
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| And four of my friends today.
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| Yeah, I let the hometown boys go home
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| They paid five dollars bail
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| Oh, but all the drivers in the out of state cars
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| Had to go to jail.
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| Well, they hollered and they moaned
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| And they cried and they groaned
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| They all swore that they’d sue
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| But the judge was high and so was I And we needed the money too.
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| Yeah, the judge and me got a deal
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| you see we split the money fair
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| Except for thirty percent to the county seat
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| To keep the law out of our hair.
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| And old Charlie’s working out real good
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| Down at the corner store where the red light is He sees them out of state plates two blocks away
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| And when they get right up on top of that green light
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| Old Charlie pushes that secret button
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| Underneath the corner drugstore counter
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| That yellow light only lasts for a tenth of a second.
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| Oh, the county pays me about forty a week
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| Ain’t that the living end
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| If it wasn’t for them tourists in them out of state cars
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| I’d have no look to spend.
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| But the way it stands this year so far
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| I’ve made a hundred thou
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| For a high school dropout I’m a doin' fine
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| I make more than the president now, Of course he’s honest.
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| So if you’re driving down the road
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| And flashing lights you see
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| If they’re on a top of a red Rolls Royce
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| You can bet your boots it’s me.
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| 'Cause I’m the cop in a little bitty town
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| And I’d sure like to see
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| All the drivers in them out of state cars
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| Try to get by me… |