| We''ve been dating since high school we never once left this town
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| We use to go out on the weekends and we’d drink 'til we drowned
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| But now she’s acting funny and I don’t understand
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| I think that she’s found her some other man
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| She left me for Jesus and that just ain’t fair
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| She says that He’s perfect, how could I compare?
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| She says I should find Him and I’ll know peace at last
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| If I ever find Jesus, I’m kicking His ass
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| She showed me a picture all I could do was stare
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| At that freak in His sandals with His long pretty hair
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| They must think that I’m stupid or I don’t have a clue
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| I’ll bet He’s a commie or ever worse yet a Jew
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| She left me for Jesus and that just ain’t fair
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| She says that He’s perfect, how could I compare?
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| She says I should find Him and I’ll know peace at last
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| If I ever find Jesus, I’m kicking His ass
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| She’s given up whiskey and taking up wine
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| While she prays for His troubles, she’s forgot about mine
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| I’m a gonna get even, I can’t handle the shame
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| Why last time we made love she even called out his name
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| She left me for Jesus and that just ain’t fair
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| She says that He’s perfect, how could I compare?
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| She says I should find Him and I’ll know peace at last
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| If I ever find Jesus, I’m kicking His ass
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| It coulda been Carlos or even Billy or Ted
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| But if I ever find Jesus
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| He’s gonna wish He was dead, Amen |