| Well I got a bad liver and broken heart, yeah,
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| I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
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| And I don’t have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can’t get a drink
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| And I wish you’d a-known her, we were quite a pair,
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| She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer
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| So welcome to the continuing saga, she was my better half, and I was just a dog
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| And so here am I slumped, I’ve been chipped and I’ve been chumped on my stool
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| So buy this fool some spirits and libations, it’s these railroad station bars
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| And all these conductors and porters, and I’m all out of quarters
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| And this epitaph is the aftermath, yeah I choose my path, hey, come on, Kath,
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| He’s a lawyer, he ain’t the one for ya No, the moon ain’t romantic, it’s intimidating as hell,
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| And some guy’s trying to sell me a watch
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| And so I’ll meet you at the bottom of a bottle of bargain Scotch
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| I got me a bottle and a dream, it’s so maudlin it seems,
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| You can name your poison, go on ahead and make some noise
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| I ain’t sentimental, this ain’t a purchase, it’s a rental, and it’s purgatory,
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| And hey, what’s your story, well I don’t even care
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| 'Cause I got my own double-cross to bear
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| And I’ll see your Red Label, and I’ll raise you one more,
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| And you can pour me a cab, I just can’t drink no more,
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| 'Cause it don’t douse the flames that are started by dames,
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| It ain’t like asbestos
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| It don’t do nothing but rest us assured,
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| And substantiate the rumors that you’ve heard |