| I don’t know if you’ve heard the news but I’m a boy
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| Who’s got himself a problem so big it’s no joy
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| You see I’ve something that people claim
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| Could bring me fortune and instant fame
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| A face so ugly you could hardly blame
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| Anybody here for saying so
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| I think I’ll bury myself deep beneath the ground
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| And come up only when there’s no one else around
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| And if by chance someone approaches me
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| And that someone happens to be a she
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| You can bet your life in time of worry
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| I wouldn’t hesitate but to be that way
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| Oh why can’t girls just look at me and smile
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| Instead of looking at me as though
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| I will turn my head and before I go to bed
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| Gaily underneath the blanket go
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| I’ve even wrote to Marjorie Proops, but she can’t help
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| The best that she could offer me was disguise yourself
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| Well this I’ve done would you believe not twice
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| But more than once in fact I think it was nice
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| So much so when I’m inclined to hurry
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| I wouldn’t hesitate but to be that way-oh oh oh
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| Woh! |
| Woh! |