| I love those great big blue eyes
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| I love those laughter lines
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| Round about where an ill wind blows
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| That’s where for me it shines
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| And I have no inhibitions
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| That I wish to, put on
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| If I did what would I inhibit
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| A painting I’ve never done
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| And such is life as Ned once said
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| However let’s be clear
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| If you think that a noose round my neck
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| Makes a happy man of me
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| You’re barking up the wrong tree
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| And I hare those cold damp mornings
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| Despite a good night’s sleep
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| Stepping out when it’s still not light
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| Feels like I should retreat
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| And as for those glamour model types
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| Who when they strut their stuff
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| Look about as dressed as a naked chef
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| Making his powder puff
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| And while we’re on the subject
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| Where in God’s name have you been
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| I’ve been waiting around for hours
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| If you think it’s good for me
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| You’re backing up the wrong tree
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| And to the idiots who say for tusks
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| Killing elephants is not unjust
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| Don’t you wish a herd would come along
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| And overrule them
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| Can’t for the life of me see
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| How marksmen armed with guns
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| Think a man with a table leg
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| As threatening to either one
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| And yet as marksmen, surely
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| Assuming as I’ve said
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| That there is some doubt
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| They must take him out
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| Who do it in the head?
|
| And such is life as Ned once said
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| However let’s be clear
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| If barking mad’s where you think I’m from
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| Take a little tip from me
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| You’re barking up the wrong tree |