Lyrics I Would Never (Dissect a Ewe) - Garfunkel and Oates

I Would Never (Dissect a Ewe)

Remember the time we were in Biology class?
We had to grow a plant to learn photosynthesis
Let’s do it again!
Remember the time we learned CH and HHC-
Double OOH were a carbohydrate
Dissolves faster than a lipase?
'Cause I really like to learn about science
And I think killing frogs is fine
But my lab teacher crossed the line
When he gave us all sheep’s eyeballs
I would never dissect a ewe
Believe me, I’d slice it if I wanted to
I’d already would’ve ripped its face in two
But that will never happen
Remember the time we saw the nitrogen cycle
Study of root nodules and legumes
With or without rhizobium?
Remember the time we studied homologous chromosomes
DNA replication, looked at mitosis and meiosis
Followed by division of the cytoplasm?
'Cause I really like to learn about science
We opened up that pregnant cat
And the fetal pig was cooler than that
But some things are disgusting
I would never dissect a ewe
Believe me, I’d incise it if I wanted to I already would’ve turned its hooves to glue
(You would’ve liked it)
But that will never happen
No amount of alcohol
Would sterilize it all
When I was 5 I went to the petting zoo
And that sheep face will haunt me
(Sheep ghost… sheep ghost will haunt you)
'Cause I would never dissect a ewe
Believe me, I’d slice it if I wanted to I already would’ve punched it And asphyxiated its face with its own intestines
And hung it from a basketball hoop to drain it…
(Looked at it like I was a girl from the original movie
«Fast Times at Ridgemont High"and then threw up Because my character just had an abortion)
But that will never happen