Lyrics Complimentary Muffin - Flight Of The Conchords

Complimentary Muffin

So, as well as our doing
A collection of songs tonight
We’re gonna tell you some of our--
Our rock and roll anecdotes
Give you a sort of a
Behind-the-scenes look
At, uh, you know
The life of the band
You know, some pretty
Funny experiences that we’ve had
-some pretty crazy ones as well
-Yeah
And I think one that encompasses
Both those, um, subsets…
I don’t know
I don’t think «subsets»
Is a very rock and roll
Way of describing it
That’s what
We’re talking about, the fun…
The fun rock and roll subset
Um…
Uh, the story--
The story that Jemaine
Is talking about
-I think, is the muffin story
-Oh, yes!
Yeah.
Um, this is
A story of, um…
The time when I got
To my hotel room--
Oh, no, sorry.
Let me give
A bit of context
Wait.
Hold on
Everyone listen to Bret
Okay
Okay, so
First of all, being in a band
We stay in hotels
'Cause we tour around
-We stay in some quite fancy hotels
-Oh, yes
We’ve stayed in some Premiere Inns
Yeah, absolutely
And we’ve stayed in some of the
Very Best Westerns out there
And I got to my room
And there was a complimentary
Muffin sitting on the table
Okay, this is where the fun--
You guys obviously don’t stay in these
Fancy hotels
-'cause this is very unusual
-Some of you are a few steps ahead
You’re like, okay, this is
Where the fun’s beginning
-Yeah
-Yep
So, I thought, okay, if I’ve
Got a complimentary muffin
I bet old Mad Dog’s got
A complimentary muffin
That’s my nickname
I’ll tell you about that later
But tell them the joke about
The complimentary muffin
Okay, yeah, sure.
Okay, so
The complimentary muffin, now
It’s not a muffin that says, «Oh
Hello, Bret, you look good today.»
It’s a complimentary muffin
-But…
-Yeah
Imagine that though
Imagine that
-That's ridiculous
-It's such a fun…
A very flattering pastry
Little blueberry eyes
You know, just looking up at you
Going…
-Absolutely adorable
-I'd eat that
It’s just looking up at you, going
«Well, you’ve got a nice personality
Little muffin
That’s just a little
Digression we add in to--
Yeah, we just, like, spice up
The story with a bit of humor
Yeah.
Um…
It wasn’t something that
Occurred to us at the time
And so, I thought if I’ve got
A complimentary muffin
I bet Mad Dog here’s got one, and…
Right.
You’re probably wondering
Why I get called «Mad Dog.»
This is a
Nickname that caught on
When Jemaine e-mailed me with
The subject «New Nickname.»
I’m not sure if
That’s the start of it
I’m sure it was a series of events
No, well, it was
A series of e-mails
It was-- Yeah.
Three or
Four e-mails reminding me
And then, eventually, it caught
On, and now, I’ve got it up here
It’s not important to the story
About how I got the name
I’ve got a reputation, and they
Call me Mad Dog, within the band
And so, I thought--
I called his room, and I’d
Only been in the room
Maybe like, two or three minutes
You know, me and my muffin
And I call up Jemaine’s room
I mean, Mad Dog, and, um…
-Thank you
-He answers the phone
«Hello?»
He’s already bloody halfway
Through that muffin
Yeah
Bloody Keith Richards over here
God
I didn’t-- I didn’t even wait
As soon as I saw it, rawr!
What’d you do?
Just walk in there like
«Rawr, give me that
I’ll do that!»
Bloody…
Yeah, basically
That’s pretty much it
He wasn’t even there
And he guessed it
-because I’m a mad dog
-And…
You start to get a picture of the
Life of excess that we live
For you to know
It’s a life of excess
You need to also know that
We had muffins for breakfast
That’s right, yeah
So that’s bloody two muffins
In one day.
Oh!
-Double muffiner
-Oh, God
-Yeah
-Yeah
And so, we collect these
Stories as we travel 'round
You never know when something
Crazy’s gonna happen
Yeah!
That one was about seven years ago
It was