Lyrics Asshole - Denis Leary

Asshole - Denis Leary
Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Asshole, artist - Denis Leary. Album song No Cure For Cancer, in the genre Поп
Date of issue: 31.12.1992
Record label: A&M
Song language: English

Asshole

Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub cockle area
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon, we don’t know
I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I’m your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested
(Oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else’s expense
(Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I’m an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying «how about this heat?»
I’m an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he's the world’s biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
I’m an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he's a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong…
Nah
I’m an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he's the world’s biggest asshole)
You know what I’m gonna do?
I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And I’m gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald’s
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I’m done sucking down those greaseball burgers
I’m gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I’m gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because we’ve got the bomb, that’s why
Two words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
And it won’t make a lick of difference
Because we’ve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne’s not dead, he’s frozen
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer
We’re gonna thaw out the Duke and he’s gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiply that by 15 million times
That’s how pissed off the Duke’s gonna be!
I’m gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas and
(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don’t you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
I’m an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he's the world’s biggest asshole)
Everybody
I’m an asshole and I’m proud of it

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Other songs of the artist:

NameYear
Traditional Irish Folk Song 1992
Merry F'n Christmas 2004
Love Barge 1996
Elvis And I 1996
Fuck The Pope 1996
President Leary 1996
Insane Cowboy (In Africa) 1996
Fuck The Kennedys 1996
Lock 'N Load 1996
Coffee 1996
Put It on Me ft. Denis Leary, Elizabeth Gillies 2015
My Kids 1996
Save This 1996
Fat Fucks 1996
Beer 1996
I'm Happy 1996
Meat 1992
More Drugs 1992
Voices In My Head 1992
The Downtrodden Song 1992

Artist lyrics: Denis Leary