Lyrics If I Surrender - Citizen Soldier

If I Surrender

If I surrender
Lately I've been feeling so ashamed
By these thoughts I'm hiding in my brain
'Cause I've been holding them down but they twist me violently
I'm hanging by a thread tonight
but this time I don't wanna be saved
So let me fall, let me break
Under everything unsaid
Just let me die 'cause I can't take
Living with what's in my head
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
Will it set me free?
What's the point of holding on like this?
When no one seems to care if I exist
There is no agony like being strong
when no one knows you're sick
So sick of hearing I should stay
when I know I would never be missed
So let me fall, let me break
Under everything unsaid
Just let me die 'cause I can't take
Living with what's in my head
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
If you could see under my skin
You'd realize why I hold it in
Why it's a fight I don't wanna win
Why it's a fight I don't wanna win
If you could see all my abuse
And spent a day inside my shoes
You'd realize why I just wanna lose
You'd realize why I just wanna lose
Will anyone believe the hell of being me
Before I decide to be the dying proof?
So let me fall, let me break
Under everything unsaid
Just let me die 'cause I can't take
Living with what's in my head
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
Will it set me free?