| Hi, I’m Johnny Stash
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| And I’m here to sing about
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| A great American dog
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| Black Lassie
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| Hit it, Carl
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| She was born in the Detroit ghetto
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| During the riots of '65
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| Her daddy was a big fat alley rat
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| But he could lick a dog twice his size
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| Her mama was
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| A long legged Afghan
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| And she came from the
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| High class part of town
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| But late at night
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| When the moon got bright
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| Her and the rat
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| Really went to town
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| Black Lassie, fat and sassy
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| She started poor, aw
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| But now she’s rich
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| She’s the queen
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| Of the doggy world
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| Black Lassie is a ghetto
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| (Sssh, don’t you say it)
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| But I’m talking about Black Lassie
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| Now I want everybody to listen
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| While Carl plays with his wa-wa
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| That was Carl and his wa-wa
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| Thank you very much, Carl
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| That’s just fine
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| You can stop now, Carl
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| Carl, you can stop now
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| Gimme that wa-wa, Carl
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| Don’t you ever try to play when I’m
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| Singing about a great American dog
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| Black Lassie, fat and sassy
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| She started poor, aw
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| But now she’s rich
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| She’s the queen of
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| All the doggys in the world
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| Because Black Lassie
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| She’s a ghetto
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| (Sssh, don’t you say it)
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| But I’m talking about Black Lassie
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| A great American
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| Half dog, half rat
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| Don’t mess with her
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| Because she’a a real (shut up)
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| Aw, shut up, yourself
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| I wasn’t gonna say bitch
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| I’m talking about Black Lassie
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| I can just see little Timmy now
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| Standing in front of that liquor store
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| Calling his dog
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| Here, Black Lassie
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| Here, Black Lassie
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| Come over here, girl
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| Get out that trashcan
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| And come over here
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| Woo, you stink, where you been
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| In that store, playing with men again
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| Come over here, girl
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| I got a cheeseburger for you
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| That’s right, sit up
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| Aw, that’s a good girl
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| Aw, God, you’re ugly
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| Those beady eyes
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| But I love you, girl
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| Speak for me, girl
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| Speak for me
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| I love you |