| I know this group and they’re so avantcore
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| I bought their shit at the mom and pop store
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| And I give all of their songs the top score
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| I’ll see them play on their small hip-hop tour
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| They’re treated like sex symbols, out the stretch-limos
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| Autographing breasts with lead pencils
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| Now everybody thinks that they’re the best new group
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| As if they’re a pop band test tube fluke
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| They bought a home that’s the size of a ballpark
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| You can only cross the property with a golf cart
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| But they no longer can sell a billion records
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| Because when they first weren’t trying was their last brilliant effort
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| Rappers say the darndest things that you’ll ever hear
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| Like «I heard you sold this many units» and I say «wish me better luck next
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| year»
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| There seems to be too much water pressure
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| Underneath your genre-mesh blur
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| And to be honest I never took interest
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| In the modern day Young Black Teenagers
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| I’d thought they’d gone away replacing
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| What’s on gun racks with cheese graters
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| To use on the spongy mind
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| Of the LA rapper swinging from a monkey vine
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| Style biting used to result in a money fine, but now
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| Rappers say the darnedest things that you’ll ever hear
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| Like I’m edgy and I’m risque and I say better luck next year
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| I replied to the wuss with a yo mama’s joke
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| When he said how much he pushed the envelope
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| A group of sexually ambivalent nihilists
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| Crying from an ovarian cyst
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| Picking at a vegetarian dish
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| Idolizing a German band that barely exists
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| But me, my name’s never on the full-color flyer
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| I’m just the dull Busdriver
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| Thinking 'til my head is a bowl of dust fibers
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| To all the fools up under their trucker hats
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| Sagging until you can see their plumber’s cracks
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| There is no metaphorical meaning
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| So don’t bother sifting through the storyboard in one seating
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| It’s just horribly demeaning
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| And you can’t do burners
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| I want the colors back
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| Don’t want to hear your dumb ideas
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| Just shut your trap
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| Jumping jacks thunder claps in your bubble gum raps
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| Rappers say the darnedest things that you’ll ever hear
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| Like «I did a song with so-and-so and I got signed» but the checks will never
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| clear |