| Hi there, nice to be with you, glad you could stick around
 | 
| Like to introduce `Legs' Larry Smith, drums
 | 
| And Sam Spoons, rhythm pole
 | 
| And Vernon Dudley Bohay-Nowell, bass guitar
 | 
| And Neil Innes, piano
 | 
| Come in Rodney Slater on the saxophone
 | 
| With Roger Ruskin Spear on tenor sax
 | 
| I, Vivian Stanshall, trumpet
 | 
| Say hello to big John Wayne, xylophone
 | 
| And Robert Morley, guitar
 | 
| Billy Butlin, spoons
 | 
| And looking very relaxed, Adolf Hitler on vibes
 | 
| Nice!
 | 
| Princess Anne on sousaphone
 | 
| Mmm
 | 
| Introducing Liberace, clarinet
 | 
| With Garner «Ted» Armstrong on vocals
 | 
| Lord Snooty and his pals, tap dancing
 | 
| In the groove with Harold Wilson, violin
 | 
| And Franklin McCormack on harmonica
 | 
| Over there, Eric Clapton, ukulele
 | 
| Hi Eric!
 | 
| On my left Sir Kenneth Clark, bass sax
 | 
| A great honour, sir
 | 
| And specially flown in for us, the session’s gorilla on vox humana
 | 
| Nice to see Incredible Shrinking Man on euphonium
 | 
| Drop out with Peter Scott on duck call
 | 
| Hearing from you later, Casanova on horn
 | 
| Yeah! | 
| Digging General de Gaulle on accordion
 | 
| Rather wild, General!
 | 
| Thank you, sir
 | 
| Roy Rogers on Trigger
 | 
| Tune in Wild Man of Borneo on bongos
 | 
| Count Basie Orchestra on triangle
 | 
| (Ting!)
 | 
| Thank you
 | 
| Great to hear the Rawlinsons on trombone
 | 
| Back from his recent operation, Dan Druff, harp
 | 
| And representing the flower people, Quasimodo on bells
 | 
| Hooray!
 | 
| Wonderful to hear Brainiac on banjo
 | 
| We welcome Val Doonican as himself
 | 
| Hullo there!
 | 
| Very appealing, Max Jaffa
 | 
| Mmm, that’s nice, Max!
 | 
| What a team, Zebra Kid and Horace Batchelor on percussion
 | 
| A great favourite and a wonderf |