| It’s 1986 I’m in the first grade
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| I’m workin really hard to get Mario laid
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| I gotta save the Princess
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| so he can get the pussy
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| Believe me, Mario would get that ass
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| so fuck Luigi
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| Mario really wants to get her in bed
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| So bad that he’s bustin up bricks with his head
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| He just wants sex, so forget the wedding bells
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| Jumpin on little mushrooms and turtle shells
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| Droppin down green pipes and secret passage ways
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| Makin his move to the end
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| where the final castle lays
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| Eat a magic mushroom grow a little higher
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| Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire
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| All these creatures that attack him
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| Cut Mario slack
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| Oh shit hold on I’ll be right back
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| I’m gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer
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| It’s gotta be hard to get laid if you’re a plumber
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| That’s why I’m gonna work extra hard for my man
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| And get him to the end
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| so he can stop using his hand
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| Mario doesn’t wanna get hit he’ll shrink
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| Princess won’t fuck a little kid, I think
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| So stay grown and attend to your own
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| And eventually the Princess will attend to your bone |
| Save the Princess quick
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| Because she wants a dick
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| And if you let her free
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| You get the pussy
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| Bowser’s trying to get head right now from the Princess
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| But if it’s up to me that shit’ll stop this instance
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| Cloud people throwin little spike animals
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| Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals
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| I heard nobody yet runnin the Princess’s oven
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| And Mario always says «Virgins, I love em'»
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| I hate the Koopa Troopas so I’m gonna run up
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| And jump on the back of their shells till I get one-up
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| I’m gonna keep playin and I’m never gonna quit
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| Cause some kid in school told me
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| you could see the Princess tits
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| I wanna beat it before any of my friends do
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| So I can say I put pussy upon Mario’s menu
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| At the end of each level I jump and get the flag
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| And say to myself «Another castle in the bag»
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| I hope Bowser’s ready cause he’s in for a ride
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| And Mario’s serious when it comes to homicide
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| The Princess is a freak even though she has class
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| Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass
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| I hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly |
| And I hate platforms that fall out from below me
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| It’s all worth while just to see Mario smile
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| Standin next to the Princess' butt naked profile
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| That’s why it’s my crusade to get Mario laid
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| Super Mario Brothers best game ever made |