| Say hell to Mister Buddy Buddy
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| The charlatan; |
| the confidence man
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| Half man half mannequin
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| Living in the closet where the objects are inanimate
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| Jingling his pockets, Talking money in his sleep
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| Talking funny like a president, Buddy is a creep
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| He studied to be a priest
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| Now he preaches to the lost toys
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| Speaking in a soft voice
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| Sneaky with the altar boys
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| Ask him what his name is
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| He’ll tell ya «Buddy Buddy, heh heh
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| No relation.»
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| The living go to die in the hole where his face is
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| At the beginning of time
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| He showed Satan how to shapeshift
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| Body image issues--
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| Never seen himself naked
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| Making money is a hobby but he wants to be famous
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| He goes antique shopping for Nazi pariphenalia
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| But Buddy’s not a racist
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| He just loves a good sales pitch
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| Whichever way the scales tip
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| You can’t knock the hustle
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| Of reaching in your chest
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| And squeezing that weak muscle…
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| Mister Buddy Buddy
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| Doin the Buddy Buddy
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| Say hello to Buddy Buddy
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| At the scene of the accident
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| Master of the fast-pitch bumper sticker magnet
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| Pump it to the masses
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| Who snatch it up like addicts
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| Unsnap the brass latches of alligator suitcase
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| And pedal pleasant fragments
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| With new and improved taste
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| Six million ways to flavor the Kool Aid
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| A ripple through his face when the room gets played
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| Never let a little thing like Truth get in the way…
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| The music he makes is loop-based
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| Blooms like a stain
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| Grows on ya like a rash or a tumor on the brain
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| Cyanide and toothpaste, the tools of his trade
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| Pass the laughing gas cuz Buddy is onstage!
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| A master of the craft
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| A study in blackface
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| A series of site gags in utterly bad taste
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| With a clearance price tag on everything he displays
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| He gets the fuck outta Dodge ahead of the hurricane…
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| Nothing remains but destruction in his wake
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| And bunch of no-buddies
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| Praying for more rain…
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| Mister Buddy Buddy
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| Doin the Buddy Buddy |