Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Cantina, artist - Aurelio Voltaire. Album song Ooky Spooky, in the genre АльтернативаDate of issue: 20.07.2007
Age restrictions: 18+
Record label: Projekt
Song language: English
Cantina |
| Well I went down to Mos Eisley for a converter |
| Hell you know how hot it gets on Tatooine |
| Well then I saw that there cantina |
| I’ll go in for an Orangina |
| I heard it was rough, but how bad could it be? |
| Well I walked through the door, and the music stopped (dead…) |
| All manner of men and beasts were staring at me |
| Seems just one week before |
| Their Twi’lek slave girl walked out the door |
| And I guess I was the next best thing they’d seen |
| I lost more than my heart in that Cantina |
| I left my manhood there on Tatooine |
| Son, it don’t mean you’re weak |
| If you turn the other cheek |
| But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain’t a man |
| Old Hammerhead, he fixed his mind to screw me |
| Whipped out his tool and nailed me to the bar |
| My anus, he destroyed. |
| Now i got me Hemmeroids |
| They had to wrench him off my nuts with a gaffi bar |
| I was hit over the head by ol' Han Solo |
| I’d have never guessed that pirate was a homo |
| I woke up next to Chewbacca |
| I was smeared in Wookiee ca-ca |
| And what they did to my poor nipples was a no-no |
| I lost more than my heart in that Cantina |
| I left my manhood there on Tatooine |
| Son, it don’t mean you’re weak |
| If you turn the other cheek |
| But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain’t a man |
| Ol' Salacious Crumb’s so small ya can’t detect him |
| Before I knew it he shoved himself straight in my rectum |
| And then, just to be heinous, he screamed real loud out of my anus |
| Now i got an a-hole car alarm and I can’t disconnect him |
| Oh Greedo greedily grabbed his green weenie |
| And he yanked that sucker 'til it wasn’t so teeny |
| He pulled me into Jabba’s hut |
| He stared intently at my butt |
| And then he oo-ta-too-ta'ed me with his zucchini |
| I lost more than my heart in that Cantina |
| I left my manhood there on Tatooine |
| Son, it don’t mean you’re weak |
| If you turn the other cheek |
| But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain’t a man |
| Take it away, boys… |
| (band instrumental) |
| Well the guy walked up and said, «My friend doesn’t like you.» |
| (I said, «Sorry.») |
| He said «I don’t like you either, you better watch yourself.» |
| (I think his name was Tom Waits) |
| Then some old dude who taught Vader |
| Chopped his arm off with a saber |
| That later made for one red hot anal invader |
| (Owwww…) |
| I was broken on the floor beat to a stupor |
| Then I was saved; |
| there at the door were ten stormtroopers |
| But then my hope faded away |
| I didn’t know they cloned 'em gay |
| And they each took turns stormtroopin' me in the pooper |
| I lost more than my heart in that Cantina |
| I left my manhood there on Tatooine |
| Son, it don’t mean you’re weak |
| If you turn the other cheek |
| Which is why I still go there every week |