| When the Devil is too busy
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| And Death’s a bit too much
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| They call on me by name you see,
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| For my special touch.
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| To the Gentlemen I’m Miss Fortune
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| To the Ladies I’m Sir Prize
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| But call me by any name
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| Any way it’s all the same
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| I’m the fly in your soup
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| I’m the pebble in your shoe
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| I’m the pea beneath your bed
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| I’m a bump on every head
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| I’m the peel on which you slip
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| I’m a pin in every hip
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| I’m the thorn in your side
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| Makes you wriggle and writhe
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| And it’s so easy when you’re evil
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| This is the life, you see
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| The Devil tips his hat to me
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| I do it all because I’m evil
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| And I do it all for free
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| Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need
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| While there’s children to make sad
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| While there’s candy to be had
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| while there’s pockets left to pick
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| While there’s grannies left to trip down the stairs
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| I’ll be there, I’ll be waiting 'round the corner
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| It’s a game. |
| I’m glad I’m in it
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| 'Cause there’s one born every minute
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| And it’s so easy when you’re evil
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| This is the life, you see
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| The Devil tips his hat to me
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| I do it all because I’m evil
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| And I do it all for free
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| Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need
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| I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
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| And I promise on my damned soul
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| To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
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| Has never seen a soldier quite like me Not only does his job, but does it happily.
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| I’m the fear that keeps you awake
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| I’m the shadows on the wall
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| I’m the monsters they become
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| I’m the nightmare in your skull
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| I’m a dagger in your back
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| An extra turn upon the rack
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| I’m the quivering of your heart
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| A stabbing pain, a sudden start.
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| And it’s so easy when you’re evil
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| This is the life, you see
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| The Devil tips his hat to me
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| I do it all because I’m evil
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| And I do it all for free
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| Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need
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| And I do it all for free
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| Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need
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| And I do it all for free
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| Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need
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| It gets so lonely being evil
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| What I’d do to see a smile
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| Even for a little while
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| And no one loves you when you’re evil
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| I’m lying through my teeth!
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| Your tears are all the company I need |