| So I’m in the airport getting ready to leave
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| Heading to a friend’s wedding in the N.Y.C
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| But my head has been spinning, I’m forgetting to eat
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| All this jet setting has been really getting to me
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| It’s already 11:20, I’m ready to sleep
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| But instead I end up sitting in a 27-C
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| An aisle seat, fine by me
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| But the guy that’s inside’s always tryin to pee
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| With a wild child behind me, he’s cryin and keeps
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| Flippin out and kickin at me while he violently screams
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| So I silently plea, oh God, please
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| Let there be a honey sitting 27-B
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| But of course some morbidly obese
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| Beast is in the seat that wheezes when he breathes
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| Dude sitting D is at least three deep
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| And he keeps telling me what is wrong with his knees: (I got bad knees)
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| 'Osgood Schlatters,' just need water
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| But for a bottle they charge two dollars" (what?)
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| And when I thought that it couldn’t get worse
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| I forgot my iPod
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| I’m havin a bad day
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| Nothin ever seems to go my way
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| Everybody needs to go away
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| Why? |
| Because I’m havin a bad dayyyyy, yeah
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| Hey hey, and it just keeps goin (keep goin)
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| And it just keeps (goin on!)
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| And it just keeps goin (keep goin)
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| And it just keeps (goin on)
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| So four hours and turbulence
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| We land when I’m about to turd in my pants
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| But the captain has «Seatbelt fastened»
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| So my ass is just passin gas and
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| Then at last I escaped from the plane
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| When I’m minutes away from clinically insane
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| I make my way towards baggage claim
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| When I hear a high-pitched voice scream my name (Asher!)
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| Some dumb bitch I went to high school with
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| While I’m sweating she’s telling me she likes my shit
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| I just smile and think, 'bout how great it would be
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| If I could just hit this chick with a quick leg sweep (leg sweep)
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| So I pick up my L.L. Bean
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| And beeline for the next taxi
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| In need of weed, and boxer briefs
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| But my bag’s only got Maxi’s
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| I’m havin a bad day
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| Nothin ever seems to go my way
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| Everybody needs to go away
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| Why? |
| Because I’m havin a bad dayyyyy, yeah
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| Hey hey, and it just keeps goin (keep goin)
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| And it just keeps (goin on!)
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| And it just keeps goin (keep goin)
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| And it just keeps (goin on)
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| I check in to my hotel room
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| And I pick up my cell phone to dial the groom
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| Tell him my mood and how I’m ordering food
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| And I’m probably gonna stay in and watch a movie
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| But the tube has no HBO (what?)
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| So anything I want, yo I’m paying fo'
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| But I’m lame and broke, so I’m laying in a robe
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| Watching that «Little People, Big World» show
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| Right then there’s a knock at the door
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| It’s my last hope for a Spanish whore
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| Who will change my sheets in exchange for penis
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| «Hi, I’ve lost my cat; |
| have you seen it?»
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| Jesus, this day is the worst
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| At least I can give Little Me a jerk
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| And then go to sleep, healthy and disease-less
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| It guess it could be worse; |
| but I’m just
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| I’m havin a bad day
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| Nothin ever seems to go my way
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| Everybody needs to go away
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| Why? |
| Because I’m havin a bad dayyyyy, yeah
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| Hey hey, and it just keeps goin (keep goin)
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| And it just keeps (goin on!)
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| And it just keeps goin (keep goin)
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| And it just keeps (goin on)
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| Hey, and it keep goin onnnnn
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| Hahahaha, yo |