| When you come home to me
|
| I’ll wear a sweeter smile
|
| And hope that, for a while, you’ll…
|
| Okay, thank you
|
| Thank you so much
|
| I’m climbing uphill, Jamie
|
| Climbing uphill
|
| I’m up every morning at six
|
| And standing in line
|
| With two hundred girls
|
| Who are younger and thinner than me
|
| Who have already been to the gym
|
| I’m waiting five hours in line
|
| And watching the girls
|
| Just coming and going
|
| In dresses that look just like this
|
| Till my number is finally called
|
| When I walk in the room
|
| There’s a table of men
|
| Always men — usually gay
|
| Who’ve been sitting like I have
|
| And listening all day
|
| To two hundred girls
|
| Belting as high as they can!
|
| I am a good person
|
| I’m an attractive person
|
| I am a talented person
|
| Grant me Grace!
|
| When you come home…
|
| I should have told them I was sick last week
|
| They’re gonna think this is the way I sing
|
| Why is the pianist playing so loud?
|
| Should I sing louder?
|
| I’ll sing louder
|
| Maybe I should stop and start over
|
| I’m gonna stop and start over
|
| Why is the director staring at his crotch?
|
| Why is that man staring at my resume?
|
| Don’t stare at my resume
|
| I made up half of my resume
|
| Look at me
|
| Stop looking at that, look at me
|
| No, not at my shoes
|
| Don’t look at my shoes
|
| I hate these stupid shoes
|
| Why did I pick these shoes?
|
| Why did I pick this song?
|
| Why did I pick this career?
|
| Why does this pianist hate me?
|
| If I don’t get a callback
|
| I can go to Crate & Barrel with Mom and buy a couch
|
| Not that I want to spend a day with Mom
|
| But Jamie needs space to write
|
| Since I’m obviously such a horrible, annoying distraction to him
|
| What’s he gonna be like when we have kids?
|
| And once again…
|
| Why am I working so hard?
|
| These are the people who cast Russell Crowe in a musical
|
| Jesus Christ, I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck
|
| When fin’lly you come home to…
|
| Okay, thank you
|
| Thank you so much
|
| I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs
|
| With the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs
|
| I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes
|
| Pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues
|
| I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels
|
| To be trotting along at the genius' heels
|
| I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by
|
| And I |