Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Calling Home, artist - Adam Sandler. Album song Shhh...Don't Tell, in the genre Date of issue: 12.07.2004
Record label: Warner
Song language: English
Calling Home |
| Well, uh, I think they have a pickup game goin on at 10 AM tomorrow |
| Morning in the main gym for us freshmen |
| You playin? |
| It’s a co-ed game, so it’s a good chance to see some hungover chicks run |
| Up and down the court, watch their titties bounce, and hopefully have them |
| Back up into your morning dick wood while you D up… |
| That could be nice |
| You wanna head over to that frat party and start shotgunning some beers? |
| Just give me a few minutes, I gotta call my family, tell em I’m all |
| Situated here… |
| Good deal… I’ll be in the bathroom whackin it |
| (phone dials and rings) |
| …that's because Mrs. Snidel had her eyebrows and babushka lasered |
| Off, hello? |
| Hey mom, I’m at school, I’m all moved in, everything’s great… |
| Oh, wonderful… what side of the room did you take? |
| You mean left or right or… what do you mean? |
| What side of the room? |
| Did you go window or electrical outlet? |
| There’s, like, five outlets and the window’s in the middle of me and |
| My roommate… |
| Oh, so everyone wins, how nice… Does your roommate do ecstasy or |
| Snort heroine? |
| I didn’t ask him, mom… |
| Well, if he does, tell him you’re not interested… Not because you’re a |
| Nerd, but say it gives you bad diareah (?) |
| Okay, ma, sounds good… |
| Yeah! |
| I gotta get goin, there’s an orientation party that’s mandatory for |
| Freshmen to attend… |
| Oh, you should bring cupcakes… When you hand them out to the other |
| Kids, you say 'hi, my name’s Tyler, here’s to a sweet first year at |
| College!' |
| Uh… okay… |
| You won’t, but you should |
| I will next time… say hi to everybody for me, mom… |
| You say hello! |
| It’ll take you two seconds! |
| They’re all at the dinner table |
| Dying to talk to you… Everyone, Tyler’s on the phone! |
| (background) |
| Man: Hey, hey, hey! |
| Mr. College! |
| Woman: Who's on the phone? |
| Mom: Tyler, mom! |
| Other Man: Let me talk to the superstar! |
| Mom: Okay, here’s your brother! |
| Other Man: Thanks, mumsy… Hey shitstains, how’s it hangin? |
| Not bad, Pete… It’s pretty awesome here… |
| You gettin laid yet? |
| Nah, just unpacked… |
| But I’m sure you found time to smoke a few dicks and lick a few asses, right? |
| Nooo… |
| How’s the dining hall? |
| Full of tasty beaver? |
| Yeah, there were a lot of cute girls… and the food wasn’t too bad, either. |
| They actually served chicken parmigian… |
| Why don’t you slap some of that parmigian cheese on a big fat pair of |
| College jugs and have them for dinner, you fuckin dickwacker? |
| I’ll work on that… |
| DER! |
| Anyways, I talked to a couple of my landscaping buddies and we |
| Figured that we got a long weekend with you in early Rocktober, cause |
| Ronnie James Dio is playin up there… |
| Oh, okay… |
| Tell your roommate I got his bed |
| Uh, you can sleep in my bed |
| That’s where Fitz is sleepin, you fuckin asshole! |
| Man: Hey, I just wanna say hello! |
| Give me the phone! |
| Pete: Alright, dad! |
| Sorry I didn’t go to college like Alfred Einstein here, but |
| I’m a person too! |
| Dad: Just give me the phone, moron… How you doin kiddo? |
| Good, dad… |
| You enjoyin your freedom? |
| Yeah… |
| Don’t get anyone pregnant… |
| I won’t… |
| Okay… here’s your grandma |
| Dad, I don’t have time! |
| Dad: Say hello, there… |
| Grandma: Who is it? |
| The ladies from the classical shop? |
| Pete: No grandma, it’s the pharmacy |
| Grandma: Oh, good! |
| Hi, Dimitri, did the cream for my vaginal warts |
| Come in? |
| Cause, like, we’re talkin about they’re starting to spread |
| Towards the anus… |
| Pete: Hahahahaha! |
| Grandma, it’s not Dimitri, it’s Tyler… |
| Oh, hi, Bubbie… why aren’t you here? |
| We’re getting ready to eat! |
| Grandma, we talked this morning, remember? |
| I went away to school… |
| Oh, how marvelous! |
| Well, don’t study too much or you’ll drive yourself |
| Bananas! |
| Take some time for yourself too |
| Thanks, grandma, I will |
| College is supposed to be fun! |
| Yeah… |
| I had my first gal on gal experience in college! |
| Ooh… |
| Dee Snyder was her name… too much hair downstairs… not for me! |
| That’s nice, grandma… |
| Alright, don’t pierce your nipples! |
| I won’t… |
| Pete: You didn’t know grandma dyked out before, did ya? |
| No, fortunately she never told me… |
| Have fun gettin that image out of your head tonight when you beat your meat! |
| Thanks… |
| Uh oh, dude! |
| Someone else wants to say hello! |
| (fart) |
| Hahahahaha! |
| Did you hear that beef? |
| Yeah, nice job… |
| Four straight seconds! |
| Let’s hear you rip one that long! |
| I can’t… |
| Damn right, you can’t! |
| Cause they don’t teach that in one of your stupid |
| Books! |
| You’re either born with it or you’re not! |
| Yeah, you got the magic… |
| (doorbell) |
| Hold on a second, dildo, someone’s at the door… |
| I can’t hold on, I have to go! |
| Mom: Coming, just let me put the dog downstairs! |
| Okay! |
| (Door opens) |
| You gotta be kidding me… |
| Man: Hello, there… |
| Mom: Bernie! |
| What brings you over here? |
| Bernie: I'm just returning the power drill Walter lent me last week |
| Dad: That's not my drill, Bernie! |
| Bernie: Well, I guess it’s mine! |
| May I eat now? |
| Mom: Oh, that’s why you came over… |
| Bernie: Yes… |
| Dad: Terrific, come join us… Pete, go get Bernie a folding chair from the |
| closet! |
| Pete: Why can’t grandma? |
| Dad: Just do it! |
| Bernie: Thank you, Walter… Hello, Yeta, how’s your health? |
| Grandma: My labia lips itch, but other than that, I’m fine… knock on wood! |
| Dad: See, Yeta? |
| The fake wood leg comes in handy! |
| Grandma: True dat! |
| (Everyone laughs) |
| Hello? |
| I have to go!!! |
| Pete: Sit down, Mr. Fetterman… but don’t crush that big hog of yours! |
| Bernie: Pardon me? |
| Pete: I said Tyler’s on the horn from college |
| Bernie: Quickly, give me the phone! |
| (sniff) Why does this phone smell so |
| Bad? |
| Pete: I dunno… I didn’t fart in it! |
| But I think my grandma crapped herself… |
| Bernie: Oh, okay. |
| Tyler, it’s Mr. Fetterman! |
| Hey, Mr. Fetterman, how you doin? |
| Do you have a roommate, Tyler? |
| Yeah, I do… |
| I must speak to him immediately |
| He’s in the bathroom… |
| Go get him and bring him to me, now! |
| Okay… (knock) Hey Brandon! |
| Brandon: Hold on a second! |
| Come on, Oprah… Let me cum in your |
| Bellybutton! |
| Ohmygod! |
| Oh! |
| love it… (flush) Yeah? |
| What’s up? |
| Could you do me a favor and talk to somebody for a minute? |
| Yeah, sure… Hello? |
| Bernie: Hello to you, my friend! |
| Who dis? |
| The question isn’t who I am, the question is who are you? |
| Um… What does that mean? |
| It means you can’t escape the truth! |
| What are your plans? |
| To turn Tyler |
| Into a giant recording machine so you that you can take my thoughts to |
| Your leader? |
| Uh… Come again? |
| What is your real name? |
| Where do you hail from? |
| Uh, Brandon Seikz, Im from Oceanside, Long Island… |
| How dumb do you think I am? |
| Your name is 4−7 and you are a robot made |
| In a factory on the planet Yumnatz! |
| Really? |
| I know this because I too have radar! |
| I see… |
| We can make this easy or we can make this intensely difficult… The choice |
| Is yours… |
| Umm… I’ll go with not difficult… |
| Fine… then pass this message along to your leader… I know about the |
| Pidgeons, so that’s not gonna work anymore! |
| I also have buried the blender |
| In the backyard so better luck next time! |
| I am not an amateur! |
| Did not say you were… |
| Let’s call it a truce, or let’s call it the end of mankind as we know it! |
| Either |
| Way, fuck you! |
| Are we clear, 4−7? |
| Oh, I get it… I’m on the radio! |
| Then the message has been sent! |
| Tyler: Just give me the phone, Brandon… |
| Brandon: Nice talkin to yall! |
| Bernie: Die, alien! |
| Tyler: Sorry bout that, dude… |
| Brandon: Not a problem! |
| Tyler: Don't worry, Mr. Fetterman, I got everything under control |
| I know you do, Tyler, and if he causes any trouble just pull his battery |
| Pack, that’ll take him out of the game… |
| Good deal… Let me just say goodbye to my mother… |
| Right… and remember, no glove no love, alright? |
| Yeah, I’ll remember that… |
| Nancy! |
| Pete: Hey, fuckface! |
| Have fun telling ghost stories tonight with your new |
| Pussy friends! |
| I will… |
| Suck a hairy nipple! |
| Here, mumsy! |
| Mom: Stop cursing! |
| Pete: I wasn’t, mom! |
| Mom: Just go play with your cock and balls… |
| Pete: Right away, mom… |
| Alright, baby, did you remember to bring your dandruff shampoo? |
| Yeah, I did, mom… |
| Take the label off if you’re embarrassed for your roommate to see it… |
| I will. |
| Okay, go have fun at the mixer… call us when you get back to your room |
| Call ya? |
| It’s probly gonna be late, ma! |
| That’s no problem, we’ll all wait up, bye bye! |
| (click) |
| Man, my family ain’t easy to deal with sometimes… |
| Nobodys is! |
| What, your family’s a little nutty also? |
| Oh yes… Ya know? |
| I should actually give them a call, too, let em know |
| I’m okay… |
| You got it, I’ll be in the bathroom whackin it to my grandma eating out |
| Dee Snyder… |
| Good deal…(dialing and ringing) |
| Gay Robot: Hello? |
| Hey dad! |
| Hello, son! |
| Did you join a fraternity yet? |
| I’m workin on it |
| Well, when you do, I’ll come visit so I can fuck all your new brothers! |
| You’re too horny, dad! |
| True dat! |
| Hahahahaha |
| Hahahahaha |
| Good times… |
| Great times… |
| Milna Bubur Bayi Organik, MPASI Terbaik untuk Si Kecil |