| Oh the weather outside is frightful
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| but the fire, well the fire is right there laughing at you
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| you’ve got no place to go let it rain, let it pour, let it snow.
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| it doesn’t show signs of slowing
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| and that’s just your luck, but that’s just how you are
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| your heart is turned way down low
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| let it rain, let it pour, let it snow.
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| it’s october 25th and I can see the first signs
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| there’s an elf riding a reindeer in the store near the blinds
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| with a wreath around his neck and a froth on his lips
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| he yells at me and pumps his sweaty little fist
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| and declares war, a war that we know all too well
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| but then he smiles and rings his dirty little bell
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| and it’s in the papers it’s on the shelves it’s in your face
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| santa and his holiday have come to this place
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| for sure, OH be sure that you know it
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| I’m worse for the wear and I hope it’s not showing
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| fall is over now time goes by so fast
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| it’s all over now I knew it couldn’t last
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| there’s a reason and I’m sure someone will remind me but I have shopping to do so get behind me (and push)
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| it’s november 25th and oh my we’re moving now
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| just had a second of thanks, but it’s time to run the plow
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| I’ve got an idea turkey let me tie your feet with wires
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| and AMERICA size you and then throw you on the fire
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| and lick our lips and let our eyes roll like marbles
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| and trash another tradition fill our stomachs till we warble
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| it’s my fault too, I get too busy putting things off
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| and waste away my thoughts with ones that I’ve bought
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| and we’ve paid a heavy price gladly let’s top it with oil
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| and grease down the wheels so our brakes won’t spoil
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| the fun at the end of a gun
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| doing what we’re told to do can be so much fun
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| it’s time to celebrate oh ye of little faith
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| so fill your carts with garbage to decorate your cage
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| so happy shopping holiday and please help the economy
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| and say a prayer for your bank account and GOD BLESS the bombing
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| Oh the weather outside is frightful
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| but the fire, well the fire is laughing at you
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| you’ve got no place to go let it rain, let it pour, let it snow.
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| and it doesn’t show signs of stopping
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| but that’s just your luck, and it’s just how you are
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| why is your heart turned down so low
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| let it rain, let it pour, let it snow.
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| It’s December 25th, so go tell it on the mountain
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| that’s it’s finally here and your tree looks like a fountain
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| exploding with gifts and lights and returns
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| for the stores, we all pray it won’t burn
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| your home this year for hot cider and regret
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| and guilt trips hanging low near your heavy head
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| put your shoes on it’s time to run through the motions
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| and mix some anti depressants up in the potion
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| what have we done? |
| remembering the reason
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| looking out for number one is the theme of the season
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| you’ve made your list and you’ve checked it a hundred times
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| but you forgot to mention who came for you to be tried
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| and killed and buried only to rise again that day
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| maybe that’s when you’ll have a happy holidays
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| God bless America? |
| how about America Bless God
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| and love others like ourselves |