| Well after all, Pickering, I’m an ordinary man
|
| Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance
|
| To live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants…
|
| An average man am I, of no eccentric whim
|
| Who likes to live his life
|
| Free of strife
|
| Doing whatever he thinks is best, for him
|
| Well… just an ordinary man…
|
| BUT, Let a woman in your life
|
| And your serenity is through
|
| She’ll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome
|
| And then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you…
|
| Let a woman in your life
|
| And you’re up against a wall
|
| Make a plan and you will find, that she has something else in mind
|
| And so rather than do either you do something else
|
| That neither likes at all
|
| You want to talk of Keats and Milton
|
| She only wants to talk of love
|
| You go to see a play or ballet, and spend it searching
|
| For her glove
|
| Let a woman in your life
|
| And you invite eternal strife
|
| Let them buy their wedding bands
|
| For those anxious little hands…
|
| I’d be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling
|
| Than to ever let a woman in my life
|
| I’m a very gentle man
|
| Even tempered and good natured
|
| Who you never hear complain
|
| Who has the milk of human kindness
|
| By the quart in every vein
|
| A patient man am I, down to my fingertips
|
| The sort who never could, ever would
|
| Let an insulting remark escape his lips
|
| Very gentle man…
|
| But, Let a woman in your life
|
| And patience hasn’t got a chance
|
| She will beg you for advice, your reply will be concise
|
| And she will listen very nicely, and then go out
|
| And do exactly what she wants!!!
|
| You are a man of grace and polish
|
| Who never spoke above a hush
|
| All at once you’re using language
|
| That would make a sailor blush
|
| Let a woman in your life
|
| And you’re plunging in a knife
|
| Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks
|
| I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition
|
| Than to ever let a woman in my life
|
| I’m a quiet living man
|
| Who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room
|
| Who likes an atmosphere as restful as
|
| An undiscovered tomb
|
| A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys
|
| Who likes to meditate, contemplate
|
| Free from humanity’s mad inhuman noise
|
| Just a quiet living man…
|
| But, let a woman in your life
|
| And your sabbatical is through
|
| In a line that never ends comes an army of her friends
|
| Come to jabber and to chatter
|
| And to tell her what the matter is with YOU!
|
| She’ll have a booming boisterous family
|
| Who will descend on you en mass
|
| She’ll have a large wagnerian mother
|
| With a voice that shatters glass
|
| Let a woman in your life
|
| Let a woman in your life
|
| Let a woman in your life
|
| I shall never let a woman in my life |