| Yeah, yeah yeah, thank you for having me
|
| MY girl is cheap. |
| She's so cheap......
|
| I told her to goes to Blockbuster
|
| And rent me FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH!
|
| (crowd laughs)
|
| She come back with FOUR fingers!
|
| (crowd laughs)
|
| I was like "AIN'T THAT A BIP!"
|
| You know what I'm sayin?
|
| So, so I'm watchin' Barney, right...."OOOII LOOOVE YOUUUUU....."
|
| And, and the nigga just have a heart attack!
|
| (crowd laughs loudly and cheers)
|
| So....so, I go into Foot Locker cause I want some new shoes!
|
| I take my shoes off, everybody fall out
|
| (crowd laughs)
|
| Got me some new Timbs, some Nikes, some socks, everythang!
|
| And lemme see, lemme see....
|
| Oh yeah, oh yeah ohyeahyeah, I'm at the gas station.....
|
| This nigga come up....wipin' my windows, askin me do I have 50 cents?
|
| I told him 'no!'
|
| (crowd laughs loudly and cheers)
|
| Ahhh, ah, ah, eh eh, oh OOOOOUUURH....yeah
|
| Mister Shaquiiiiile O'Neal!
|
| Give it up for this guy, ladies and gentlemen!
|
| (crowd laughs loudly)
|
| Boy got a shoe size of a milk carton
|
| Ten gallon hat wearin'......
|
| (crowd continues laughing)
|
| So...so....so I'm at Pathmark buyin' lightbulbs, right?
|
| And I see this ooold girl I wanted to get back with in high school....
|
| Still wearing those same curlers......
|
| Slippers and a bathrobe
|
| Talkin bout "I'se hungry!"
|
| (crowd laughs)
|
| Uh, how come all the
|
| Only the 500 pound women wanna go in the diet section?
|
| (ha ha ha ha, I DON'T KNOW HOW THE ....)
|
| Yeah, um, so, um....so.....
|
| I saw your mother the other day, right.....right...
|
| She had on this sweatshirt!
|
| It said....U.C.L.A. |
| on it!
|
| I was like "Well GODDAMN! I didn't know YOU went to college!
|
| She said "I didn't! My name is Ucla!"
|
| (crowd laughs and cheers wildly)
|
| Mother's feet so long....
|
| She sit on the top of the Golden Gate Bridge, and get her toes wet!
|
| (crowd continues laughing)
|
| Play hopscotch like this:
|
| Connecticut....Maine.....Boston...Mississippi....
|
| Big short neck havin'.....
|
| So, so lazy, live on the 5th floor, got in the elevator...
|
| Pushed 2 twice and then....
|
| Twice and then said "fuck it!" |
| Walked up the steps
|
| Teeth so yellow I can make lemonade with it!
|
| (crowd laughs loudly)
|
| I mean....like Wu-Tang say
|
| "Sunshine falls upon a rainy day.....skies are grey"
|
| (they're laughing at me)
|
| (they're laughing at me)
|
| (they're laughing at me)
|
| (stop laughing!)
|
| (stop it! stop laughing!) |