Lyrics It's A Hit! - Stephen Sondheim

It's A Hit!

JOE
Listen to that!
Will you listen to that!
FRANK
Do you know what that means?
Let me tell you what that means —
Wait, no, anyone who even thinks it
Don’t say it, you’ll jinx it —
CHARLEY
Listen to that!
JOE
Did you listen to that?
FRANK
Does that make you feel proud?
Well, feel more than just proud —
Okay, wait, I’ll tempt fate
And I’ll state it out loud
That’s the sound of a —
Hit!
It’s a hit!
Gang, I think this is it!
No more writing clever little shows
For those basement saloons
No more proclamations from the pros
That «You can’t hum the tunes" —
CHARLEY
No more sneaking in at intermission
To the plays you wish you could afford —
MARY
Or producers having you audition
Whenever they’re bored —
CHARLEY
And who’ll say
Right away
As you play
The first chord:
«Boys, boys that is very, very uh what’s the word?
Interesting
And if I thought an audience would go and see it
I would produce it in a minute
NEXT!»
ALL
We’re a hit!
We’re a hit!
JOE
Standing up —
The whole bit!
FRANK
No more coaching those sopranos
With voices like bees —
CHARLEY
No more secondhand pianos
With six broken keys —
MARY
No more agents giving you opinions
As they turn you over to their minions —
ALL
Just for these
Guarantees
We should please
Thank the lord
It’s a hit!
It’s a hit!
BETH
Will my folks have a fit!
After all of that baloney
They’ve made me go through
All that, «Honey, not that he’s a phoney
But what does he do?»
Will their faces be stony
When they see on their Sony
Someone handing the phoney
The Tony Award!
FRANK
(spoken)
'I would like to begin by thanking all of the hundreds of people who have
turned down every show I have ever written so I could win tonight for this one!
Thank you
(sung)
Listen to that!
Will you listen to that?
Tell me, is that a noise
Or is that a noise?
That is a noise we’ve been waiting
The whole of our lives to hear!
BETH
Listen to that!
Did you listen to that?
Honey, is that a noise
Or is that a noise?
That is the loveliest noise
For a breadwinning wife to hear!
FRANK
Listen to that
Will you listen to that!
I can’t stand it!
MARY
Listen to that!
That’s obscene!
JOE
That is a noise
That is really a —
Listen to that!
Will you listen to that?
Golly, I can’t — listen to that!
Will you listen to that?
CHARLEY
Listen to that!
Fellas, that is a noise
That is really a noise!
I can’t stand it!
Will you listen to that!
Will you listen to that!
BETH
Listen to that!
Did you listen to that?
I can’t stand it!
Did you listen to that!
Listen to that!
Will you listen to that!
FRANK
Listen to that!
That is the noise I’ve been waiting
My life to hear!
Listen to that!
Will you listen to that!
Will you listen to that!
ALL
That’s the sound of an audience
Losing its mind!
It’s the Pope on his balcony
Blessing mankind!
JOE
Folks, it’s 'Funny Girl', 'Fiddler'
And 'Dolly' combined!
All:
It’s a hit!
It’s a hit!
It’s a palpable hit!
FRANK AND CHARLEY
If it only even runs a minute
At least it’s a wedge
It’s the theater and we’re really in it
Not just on the edge!
JOE
If your spirits ever need improving
You can drop in any night for free!
FRANK
But the thing that’s positively moving —
CHARLEY
You could have fooled me —
FRANK AND CHARLEY
Is we’re still old friends!
Nothing can kill old friends!
FRANK, CHARLEY AND MARY
Where there’s a will, old friends
Don’t need success to survive!
FRANK, CHARLEY, MARY AND BETH
And us, old friends
What’s to discuss, old friends?
ALL
We’ve got a surefire
Genuine
Walkaway
Blockbuster
Lines down to broadway
Boffola
Sensational
Box office
Lalapalooza
Gargantuan —
Hit!
It’s a hit!
It’s a hit!
It’s a hit!
It’s a hit!
It’s a hit!