| Life was so peaceful at the laundry,
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| Life was so calm and serene.
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| Life was trés gay til that unlucky day
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| I happened to read that mag — a — zine.
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| Why did I read that advertisement
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| Where it said, «When I rumba, Jim thinks I’m sublime»?
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| Why, oh why, did I ever try?
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| I didn’t have the talent, I didn’t have the money,
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| And teacher did not have the time. |
| Boy!
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| Arthur Murray taught me dancing in a hurry.
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| I had a week to spare;
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| He showed me the ground work, the walk — a — round work,
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| And told me to take it from there.
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| Arthur Murray then advised me not to worry,
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| It would come out all right.
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| To my way of thinkin', it came out stinkin' --
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| I don’t know my left from my right.
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| The people around me can all sing, «A-one and a-two and a-three.»
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| Any resemblance to waltzin' is just coincidental with me.
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| Arthur Murray taught me dancing in a hurry,
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| And so I take a chance.
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| To me it resembles the nine — day trembles,
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| But he guarantees it’s a dance.
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| Turkey trot, or gavotte, don’t know which, don’t know what,
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| Jitterbug, bunny hug, long as you cut a rug,
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| Walk the dog, do the clog, Lindy Hop til you drop,
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| Ball the jack, back to back, cheek to cheek til you’re weak,
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| You’ve heard of Pavlova, well, Jack, move over,
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| Make way for the queen of the dance. |