Lyrics Elegy - Youngblood Brass Band

Elegy

«I'm sorry»:
It’s easy to say when you’ve got arms to find solace in
And lips to get drunk on
I remain ink-stained, disdained, ingrained
Are you feeling entertained?
I used to wonder what the pain was like
When my father’s heart exploded
Common art sold it but this won’t settle for silence
Now I’m volatile with self-violence
Trust me
Even patience wouldn’t try this venerable eye-sense
Since I found a beat left dying on the street
And took her home to pen-stitch the bleeding rhythm
She’d been selling ism
And we shared stories of correlating detonated coronaries
It’s beyond scary
But fear is the little death and I’m no muad’dib
You colonized my Arrakis
Helpless melange addict
With the right tactic and the wrong practice
Faulty emotional stillsuit
Left me dehydrated and rapless
Let the desert have me
I didn’t know it was the last kiss
You never told me it was the last kiss
You never told me shit
So now you’re gone
I’ll play the solo solar soldier
That’s eternally ignited
So now where’s your coal
(Gone) to hell in an old soul
It cannot burn like this
Trial by nostalgia
Like it’s all love, all over, all just
I guess I’m all folding
Because God knows I can’t deal holding sole trust
Thought I was quicksilver but its gold rush
Beat my cold crush into the promised land
I took a last stand
Before that promise banned
I tried to show promise jazz but it wandered past my thumb
And I hitched a ride alone to strife’s home
A microphone, a pen, and bad company to keep
Some things seem to seep out your pores
Embedded too deep to be indebted to speak
I’ll be better next week
In the bed where you freak
I’m dead as text
Believe me it’s not the sex
No pity please
No patronizing subtlety suffering me
No laughing irony
Publicly comedy tragically badgering my process of not mastering loss yet
(This) game set (to) match (light)
At least give me enough cash to get back… right?
Airport sadness, indeed
Cause I train MC’s in ways of emitting verbal rays
But this shit’s got me busted
Like mass transience… or transcendence
We all gotta transcend
Gotta transcend
Gotta transcend
Better a brother or father?
At least you kept it in the family
And I shouldn’t have assumed
That, as moons rise, only astute eyes see
My mindscape’s tenements bathed in light
Project-laden fright
See, night is the time I place self-wrought wooden dowels
Between street signs so as to build thought-ladders
The rungs, my lungs, exhale into you
Admittedly codependent
What makes it worse are the love-locks I built in front of the gateway
With each day I add a level
But your skeleton key sees through it all with those three words
So why keep building?
If distance is the answer I can fake it
And call it ascension
A.K.A.
not giving attention to how I really feel
And I don’t even know what that rung is
My greatest regret was not making this ladder/letter for two
I am what I write, and I wrote this all about you
I’m all about you
I’m all about you
I’m all about… you