| I got a long list of needs gotta satisfy 'em all
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| And the first on the list is a bag of Tylenol
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| Cause I’m stressed out thinking I don’t have the time at all
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| To get my shopping done, let me start here, on the top at one
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| First, I need to check my e-mail
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| Oh shit, yahoo front page news, another celebrity female
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| That had a wedding recently, the marriage epicly failed
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| I need to click the link because I need to get the details
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| Soon as I click it I’m hit with a little ad
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| That reminds me of a need that I already had
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| It’s an absolute must have need it really bad
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| Before I read the story I be rushing out of my pad
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| Now I’m in my car speeding cause I’m itching to find
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| A Mickey D’s drive through so I can sit in the line
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| Gotta get in it in time, can’t waste a minute of time
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| The McRib’s only there for a limited time
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| And then I’m hit with a sign, that makes a switch in my mind
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| Reminding me of a need of a different kind
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| A brightly colored advertisement on a bus bench
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| Makes me head to Target to pick up tents
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| Cause tomorrow they’re coming out with Call of Duty 84
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| And it’s a necessity I camp out at the store
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| You never know they might never fucking make any more
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| I’m gonna rush to the front when they open the door
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| And trample over any people that fall down on the floor
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| This ain’t a game, this is war
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| If you produce it I’ll consume it if you shove it down my freaking throat
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| Everybody else got it, I don’t wanna miss the boat
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| It’s a lot of shit I really really need
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| And I need to get all of it at a really fast speed
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| I’m aware I’m a puppet of another man’s greed
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| I don’t care, I’m in love with all this shit I really need
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| My duffle bag is packed
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| With my phone, and my pod, my shuffle, pad, and mac
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| Got all of my i’s dotted, if they made it I got it
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| And I’mma open my wallet for the next iProduct
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| Gotta try to give them all that I can bruh
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| Cause every phone that I own needs to have multiple cameras
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| And my last one only had one
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| How can I be seen from boths sides of the screen, I mean
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| If I don’t desperately plead and request for my upgrade
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| I’ll definitely bleed to death or die of AIDS
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| I need better resolution, more gigs!
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| Angry birds is old, I need war pigs!
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| I need to tell the landlord as far as what is concerned
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| I gave Apple every cent that I earned
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| So I’mma be late, now I need a Tecate
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| To deflate this stress caused by not letting my needs wait
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| «God damn man I just need to relax, watch some late night TV
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| Aw infomercials… Aw fuck I need all this shit too!»
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| I got a lot of insecurities, use 'em to attack me
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| I’m going bald, getting fat, plus I got acne
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| I’m looking like a combination of all the before pics
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| Please pretty please let me make you more rich
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| Cause I need to get over whatever it is that I’m sick from
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| List some symptoms, I bet I could pick one
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| Yeah I got the fifth one, out of 45
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| Stomach aches, surely I need that particular drug to take
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| The terrorists got me scared as shit
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| Time to buy a terror kit, with a mask for air in it
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| God bless my soul, I need to invest in gold
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| The economy as we know it is about to fucking fold
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| And we’re all gonna die if I don’t fucking buy
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| All the oil’s running dry, asteroids from the sky
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| Who am I, where am I, what am I, I just need to fucking find
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| The nearest Wal-Mart that’s got a gun to buy |