| Just arrived - immediately sat down.
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| The chips are all up front.
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| Photojournalists swooped in -
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| And they blind, and they want to confuse.
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| But me and at home - who will put me down?
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| Reporters can't knock me off my feet!..
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| But inability will help me:
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| This Slate will never be able to
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| Guess what I will walk.
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| It fell to him to walk, bully, -
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| They say he is a white painter!  | 
| -
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| Made a move from e2 to e4...
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| Something familiar to me ... Well, well!
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| Follow me - what to do?!  | 
| It is necessary, Seva, - At random, like at night in the taiga ...
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| I remember - the Queen is the most important:
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| Walks back and forth and left and right, -
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| Well, horses seem to have only the letter "G".
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| Eh, thanks to the factory friend -
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| Taught how to walk, how to pass ...
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| It turned out later - I was frightened
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| Played the classic opening!
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| Everyone watched so that there was no mistake,
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| I remembered all the cooks in anguish.
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| Eh, I would change pawns for glasses -
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| It would be clear on the board!
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| I see him pointing the fork -
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| Wants to eat, and I would eat the queen ...
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| Eh, for such an appetizer - yes, a bottle!
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| But you can't drink during the match.
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| I'm hungry, judge for yourself:
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| Here they have only coffee and scrambled eggs, -
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| Cells are like circles before the eyes,
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| I confuse kings with aces
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| And I confuse a doublet with a debut.
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| There is a sign - so I take a risk:
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| The first time I should be lucky.
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| Yes, I will torture him, I will sigh -
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| Let me just take the lady!
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| I don’t mumble, I don’t calve, I’m all over like cotton wool.  | 
| We need to beat something - it's time!
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| What to beat?  | 
| Rook - scary
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| Right in the jaw - it seems too early,
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| Uncomfortable - the first game.
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| ... He destroys my defense -
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| Old Indian - at the moment -
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| It vaguely reminds me
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| Indo-Pakistani Incident.
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| Only in vain does he joke with our brother,
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| I have a measure, even two:
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| If he finishes me with obscenities,
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| So I did it - through the thigh with a grip,
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| Or - a knight's move - on the head!
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| I added a little more agility -
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| Everything is not so gloomy up close:
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| In the world of chess, a pawn can go out -
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| Well, if he trains - in queens!
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| And Slate began to indulge in trickery:
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| He will get up, run and - back;
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| He even offered me to change tours, -
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| Well, he shouldn't be afraid of me -
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| I lie down and press one hundred and fifty!
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| So I measured his figure with an eye,
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| And when he declared check to me -
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| I unintentionally exposed my biceps,
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| He even took off his jacket to be sure.
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| And instantly it became quieter in the hall,
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| He noticed that I was getting up...
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| Apparently, he was not up to chips -
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| And the vaunted notorious Fisher
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| Immediately agreed to a draw. |