Lyrics Interrogation Song - Ty Burrell, Sam Eagle, The Muppets

Interrogation Song

Sam: Kermit, let’s begin
Describe the day you played Berlin
Constantine: We rehearsed and then we walked about
We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
Ty: That night, at 10:03
Were you inside the portrait gallery
C: From 10 oclock to 10:04
Is when we played the shows encore
S: Hm, Frog, we’ve got our doubts
Can you confirm your whereabouts?
C: My alibi is water tight
The audience saw me sing all night
T: Monsieur, we know you did the crime
C: I was on stage that whole time
Ask who sang Rainbow Connection
T&S: Thank you, Kermit
No more questions
T: Allo, I think it’s time for good cop romantic cop
Miss Piggy, you cleaned up locked inside
And now’s your chance to save your hide
Miss Piggy: Gentlemen, I did not know
It’s a crime to steal the show
S: Tell us how the art was taken
T: If you want to save your bacon
MP: I haven’t seen your missing art
All I’ve stolen was audience hearts
S: We can give you a plea deal
T: All you have to do is squeal
MP: I’m not a thief I don’t know how
All I’ve ever taken is a bow
T: We’ll catch the swine who did this job
MP: Give up the pig puns creep
Go jump in a lake that’s my suggestion
T&S: Thank you Piggy no more questions
T: I think she liked me
S: I don’t think your puns are helping the investigation
T: You know…
I think they did it
S: No they didn’t
T: Yes they did and we can pin it
S: if they did how did they do it?
T: if they didn’t how didn’t they didn’t?
S: if they didn’t then it’s easy 'cuz they simply didn’t do it
T: if they did it then i knew it but we’ve nothing that can prove it
Excuse me
Bring in the purple guy with the schnoz
S: Do you remember what you did
On the night you played Mardid
Gonzo: I was hit by a raging bull
And rushed off stage to the hospital
T: Gonzo, what do you know
About the sculpture theft at Madrid’s Prado
G: I never saw the stolen bust
I spent the night in bed concussed
S: The truth, Gonzo, the clock is tickin'
G: If you don’t believe me, ask the chicken
Camilla was there she’ll cooperate
T: Madame are you willing to corroborate
-chicken clucks-
S: Will somebody get this chicken out of here
G: Calm down, Camilla, it’s a routine inspection
T&S: Thank you Gonzo, no more questions
T: Let’s go from the start
What do you know about the stolen art
Lew: I didn’t know there was a plan
Dr. Teeth: Your accusations far out man
Honewdew: The chances of us commiting a crime
Are less than point 009
Swedish Chef: *Gibberish*
T: To help with our investigation
Can you do a full translation
— What the chef just said to you
Was shnoopdy shnoopdy shnoo it’s not Swedish
Animal Grunts and laughs
Penguins Cluck
Fozzy: Uh I can do an Elvis impression
T&S: Thank you, Muppets, no more questions
T: They didn’t
S: No they didn’t
T: there’s no way they did the crime
S: They couldn’t, They’re too stupid
T: They’re not criminal master minds
S: We do not know who did it
But we know who didn’t do it
T&S: So we know who didn’t do it
Yes we know who didn’t do it~
T: They are incapable of being culpable