| I’m a shitty golfer, you can ask my wife
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| I’ve been out there hacking every day of my life
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| I got the shorts and all the plaid sweaters
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| And new taylormade driver didn’t make me any better
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| Man, I hit 'em fast and I hit 'em thin
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| I roll 'em in the bunker’s man, I hit 'em again
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| Slice 'em in the bushes, crank 'em in a creek
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| I popped that sucker up and hooked it out in the street
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| Yeah, I’m two 45 right down the middle
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| And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
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| Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
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| Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
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| If you call that good, and let me press on the side
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| You can put me down for a fight
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| Hey, I’m a shitty golfer, most of us are
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| But we carry our clubs in the back of our cars
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| What else you gonna do? |
| When you’re out of town
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| And you need to waste a whole day and shoot another round
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| Man, I played Augusta, and I played Pebble Beach
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| And one time at Sawgrass I shot 83
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| If I live long enough to be 88
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| I think I’ll celebrate it by shooting my age
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| Yeah, I’m two 45 right down the middle
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| And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
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| Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
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| Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
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| And if you call that good, and let me press on the side
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| You can put me down for a fight, oh yeah
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| You can put me down for a fight |