| I saw one of Santas helpers at the grocery store today
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| He was standin’at the front door givin’candy canes away
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| And I told him I was worried about a certain situation
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| How’s Santa gonna get here with this risin’population
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| He said, I talked to the north pole sometime late last week
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| And it seems that dear ol’Santa has got somethin’up his sleeve
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| As I leaned in to listen, he whispered in my hear
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| He said, don’t you dare repeat a single word of this, you hear
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| He said, boss man’s all excited 'cause his new sled’s almost ready
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| And they say he’s got it painted up, looks just like Richard Petty’s
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| And Rudolph and the reindeer, they’re lookin’long and mean
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| It’s the fastest, highest flyin’winter wonderland machine
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| I ain’t seen it for myself, but I heard say
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| Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh
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| It’s got a heater in the floorboard 'cause he’s gettin’old, you know
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| And a windshield with the wipers should he happen on some snow
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| Landin’lights of red and white all stuck along the side
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| So he can spot the rooftops as he’s fallin’from the sky
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| He’s got a king-size toy bin, locks in all the latches
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| And a big old custom air seat with a safety belt that matches
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| Only thing about it that worries him a heap
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| Is that he might be here just long before the children get to sleep
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| Repeat Chorus
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| Well, I ain’t seen it for myself, but I heard say
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| Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh |