| All I want is 50 million dollars
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| And seal silk to protect me from the cold
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| If I only knew how stocks would go in Wall Street
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| And were living in the mansion built of gold
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| If I only owned Pennsylvania Railroad
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| And if Tuesday Weld would only be my wife (Oh, Tiny!)
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| If I could only stay sixteen forever
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| Then I’d know that I’d be satisfied with life
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| All I want is wheatgerm for my breakfast
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| A Champagne fountain sizzling at my feet
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| While Rockefeller waiten on the table
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| And Lombardo’s band playin' while I eat
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| If I only owned Western Union cable
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| And if Tuesday Weld would only be my wife (Tiny, I love you!)
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| If I could only stay sixteen forever and ever and ever
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| Then I’d know that I’d be satisfied with life
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| (spoken)
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| Hello, my dear friend
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| Don’t run away from all this world
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| It’s a great big beautiful world
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| With fabulous happy faces around
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| Well, I can see this one over here, you lovely thing
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| Why, it’s beautiful, it’s clean, and it’s calm and it’s modern
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| If I can have them all, why, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you
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| Then I’d know that I’d be satisfied with life |