Lyrics Ballad of the Incel Man - Tim Heidecker

Ballad of the Incel Man

I’m down in the basement
Making signs out of love
And there’s a big-time special guest tonight
Coming in from above
This town hasn’t seen such excitement
Since John Cena back in 0−9
That arena is known for its wrestlin' matches
But tonight we’re gonna have ourselves a different kind
A different kind of good time
And I’m gonna take my mama
And her sister aunt Marie
And I hope I’ll find a like-minded girl
Tonight at the Trump rally
I’m gonna take a shower
And shave so I look good
Wear my «Hillary for Prison» shirt
Like a good boy should
Gonna show up there early
Watch the motorcade arrive
Gonna grill up some meat in the parking lot
They say the doors will open at five
Yeah, the doors will open at five
Got my picture of Obama
Which we’ll burn in effigy
But I hope I’ll find a like-minded girl
Tonight at the Trump rally
Maybe I’ll get to sit
Behind the man they love to hate
And watch him throw a fit
About problems I can’t contemplate
Oh, sometimes he scares me
When he goes on one of those rants
Sometimes I don’t know what he’s talking about
But it makes them liberals shit their pants
Oh, it makes them shit their pants
Oh, it gives them such trauma
And it makes us so happy
Oh, I just wanna find a like-minded girl
Oh, I really wanna find a like-minded girl
Yes, I just want to find a like-minded girl
Tonight at the Trump rally