| I’m tired of conversations with my friends and family
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| About what I think the future holds for my best girl and me
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| I fully understand exactly what they’re driving at
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| And unfortunately my answer tends to leave them somewhat flat
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| Unsubtle hints are met with awkwardness
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| So I feel I am required to confess
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| I don’t want kids
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| I just want pets
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| I can’t foresee that this will be one of my great regrets
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| Your kids are fine
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| Cause they’re not mine
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| To me a life lived without children sounds divine!
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| I tried to make excuses when folks arrive with their baby
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| There’s nothing I dread more than someone handing it to me
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| But declining offers to have them rested on your knee
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| Makes one a pariah within polite society
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| The room looks round with eyes of pure dismay
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| And no one will believe it when you say…
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| I don’t want kids (I don’t want kids!)
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| I just want pets (I just want pets!)
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| I can’t foresee that this will be one of my great regrets
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| Your kids are fine (Your kids are fine!)
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| 'Cause they’re not mine ('Cause they’re not mine!)
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| To me a life lived without children sounds divine
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| I know children can be fun
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| And yours I’m very fond of, it is true
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| The advantage is that when I grow weary of their noise
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| I can direct them back to you
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| I don’t want kids (I don’t want kids!)
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| I just want pets (I just want pets!)
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| I can’t foresee that this will be one of my great regrets
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| Your kids are fine (Your kids are fine!)
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| 'Cause they’re not mine ('Cause they’re not mine!)
|
| To me a life lived without children sounds divine
|
| I don’t want kids (I don’t want kids!)
|
| I just want pets (I just want pets!)
|
| I can’t foresee that this will be one of my great regrets
|
| Your kids are fine (Your kids are fine!)
|
| 'Cause they’re not mine ('Cause they’re not mine!)
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| To me a life lived without children sounds divine |