| Hot step moms and surrogate dads
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| It breaks my heart to see him so sad
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| Lying alone in his room with a frown on
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| Reruns show him what he’s missing out on
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| If life could be, like he sees it on TV
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| He wouldn’t have to hurt so bad
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| Hurts so bad `cause
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| It’s too much drama, too much drama Dad and Mama
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| Traded back and forth til he turns 18
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| It’s too much drama, the kid don’t need no new step grandma
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| So he joins a family on the screen
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| Can’t you see? |
| Too many parents leave
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| Too many sets of parents leave a kid who can’t believe
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| How they can think that he can take it
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| It’s all he can do to fake it
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| Off for a weekend with real Dad but
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| The only thing real is how real bad he
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| Just wants his life to be black and white
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| Those people never fight
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| If he could Xerox a home from the talking picture box
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| He wouldn’t have to hurt so bad
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| So he turns to TV for help and for guidance
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| A lot of his virtues he picked up from Linus
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| Fonzie taught him what it means to be cool
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| From Doogie he learned that he must go to school
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| Three’s Company taught him that just acting gay
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| Could lower the actual rent he would pay
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| Cops showed beating your wife and your neighbor
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| Could immortalize you and your double wide trailer |