| I love a little hamster up my rectum
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| It makes me feel so bright and so gay
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| What they do with their claws the way the do gnaw
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| It makes me orgasm every day
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| I love a little hamster up my rectum
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| I freeze up to twenty every day
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| They gnaw and the claw they paw and they paw
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| It makes me go hip hip hip hip hooray
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| I love a little hamster up my rectum
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| But they always try to get out up my arse
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| They try and they try and then they do die
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| They always pick the wrong end of the shaft
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| I love a little hamster up the rectum
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| But they always try to get out the wrong way
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| They try try then they do die
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| Always try to exit the wrong way
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| But now my rectum has been ruptured
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| And in the pet shop I no longer pay
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| I’m left to reminisce of my moments of bliss
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| When with hamsters I had my evil ways
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| I love a little hamster up the rectum
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| I love a little hamster up the arse
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| I love a little hamster up the anus
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| It always makes me laugh
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| I love a little hamster up the rectum
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| I love a little hamster up the bum
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| I love a little hamster up the bumhole
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| Now that’s what I call fun fun fun fun … |