| She goes steady with the maestro
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| And she rosins his baton
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| But when he goes out on a binge-o
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| She’s been known to carry on
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| When the maestro goes out and paints the town
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| Maestro he gets very jealous
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| When she talks to any other man
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| And the other men’s women tend to worry
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| What’s she got to talk about with them?
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| The women worry 'bout what she wanna do
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| When she’s through conducting her interlude
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| One time I saw her at the cafe
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| She was laughin' like she just let down her hair
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| The time I saw her on the sidewalk
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| And her face was all flushed and filled with tears
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| The time I saw her in front of the pet shop
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| And the maestro and the goose and the ghost were there
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| The time I saw her on her doorstep
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| She invited me upstairs
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| And she gave me a wooded chair
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| That I sit on in my underwear
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| I used to play the second fiddle
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| In her philharmonic hall
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| But now I look out for numero uno
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| And I don’t play no violins at all
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| I play the part of the man who crawls the wall |