| The fit is generous and loose
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| The coat is filled with down of goose
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| Should I feel guilty about that?
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| I wouldn’t wear the fur of a cat
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| The coat is black so in New York City
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| It doesn’t look dirty it stays pretty
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| The cuffs are purple which perfectly suits
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| A pair I already had of boots
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| Can’t help sharing on a personal note
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| A secret I have concerning the coat
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| One of the reasons that it got my vote
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| Is the way it lies open around the throat
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| For me the collar mustn’t come too high
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| Because well all right my skin is dry
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| So each morning I rub my face with oil
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| And the fabric you see the grease could soil
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| Can we speak a moment about the lining
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| After my own heart’s designing
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| It’s nylon so your skirts don’t wind
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| Up in a bunch around your behind
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| When the time comes for the coat to clean
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| You throw this thing in the washing machine
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| Drying you doubt but the filling does fluff
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| I’m here to proclaim this coat is enough
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| The length of the coat is below the knees
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| So in the cold your legs don’t freeze
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| I’m nuts about another one of its charms
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| There’s plenty of room underneath the arms
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| The coat’s not bulky it weighs about an ounce
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| And it’s practically void of any frivolous flounce
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| I will admit it has shoulder pads
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| All things considered it’s not so bad
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| It looks all right even from the side
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| I guess because the bottom isn’t overly wide
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| Okay so you say you’d prefer something hipper
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| But can I just tell you about the zipper
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| I searched for it for many years
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| Last one I had I tore up in tears
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| It turned me into Jack the Ripper
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| But now I stepped in Cinderella’s slipper
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| It runs from the gullet to just south of the crotch
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| And workin' it’s a task you can hardly botch
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| It’s made of a material that will not rust
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| It won’t get stuck you don’t get fussed
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| It undoes easily in the usual way
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| But you can also pull it up if you’d like to, let’s say
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| SIT DOWN ON THE TRAIN OR CLIMB SOME STAIRS
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| YOUR DESIRE TO BEND THIS COAT ABOUT SHARES
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| There’s snaps as well which I don’t even use
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| But they beat out buttons if I had to choose
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| I remember the night I went to the store
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| Fighting my way across the cloak-stuffed floor
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| Suffocating I was it seemed
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| When from a rack this last hope beamed
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| Of all my requirements I pursued the trail
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| To find furthermore the damn thing was on sale
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| It had a small chain at the back of the neck
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| So you could hang it on a hook but it broke what the heck
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| With the end of each sleeve I’m totally smitten
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| Ample space for to emerge a thick mitten
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| If you wanna be warm it wins far and away
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| It’s like walkin' around in your bed all day
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| I know you’re not supposed to be so fond of a thing
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| But today this is my heartfelt inspiration to sing
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| I hope you don’t think I’m merely trying to be clever
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| I wish this coat would last forever |