| Pages filled cover the floor all covered up with ink
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| Words written over coffee document my struggling
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| Those mornings spent sitting alone mourning alone in grief
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| For all I killed in search of honesty
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| See I used to be a mustard seed shouting at the mountain
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| I used to hang my head when it stayed far from the ocean
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| I used to claim its failure and from the depths of depression
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| I cried to god but god did not respond
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| Like a barrel chested strongman I suspended disbelief
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| I held it high over my head though all the weight was staggering
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| But legs buckled and muscles burned, in came gravity
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| I dropped it all, faced what I’d been avoiding
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| For many years I walked that road, for many years I tried
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| So earnestly I sought the relationship advertised
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| But my empty hands, my empty heart, could no longer be denied
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| Yeah I quit, I forfeit eternal life
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| I did not take inheritance when I left to go away
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| I did what was commanded when that rich man asked to be saved
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| I left my friends my family behind all for heaven’s sake
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| I am no prodigal and this is no mistake
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| So I’m sorry mom I’m sorry dad, I really want you to be proud
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| Don’t want to disappoint you all, don’t want to let you down
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| But I have stopped searching for truth hiding behind heaven’s cloud
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| Don’t save my place, of this race I do bow out |