| Have you heard the one about the two tomatoes?
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| Yes, we have, a million times or more
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| The two tomatoes walking down the street
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| That’s the one; |
| we’ve heard it before
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| Maybe they would like to hear about the two tomatoes
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| No, they don’t; |
| it’s such a big bore
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| But the two tomatoes can make you laugh and laugh and laugh
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| Well alright let’s hear it for very last time
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| And then never again never again
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| Hello, I am Anders Tomato
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| This is my wife, Lisa Tomato
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| Taking a walk and having the talk
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| In the marvelous place called Stockholm
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| (In a marvelous place called Stockholm)
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| Today on a way to see a splendid show
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| With the one and only The Real Group
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| It’s gonna be great; |
| don’t wanna be late
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| We’re dedicated fans of The Real Group
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| (We're dedicated fans of The Real Group)
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| Even if the story’s kind of comical, it’s also quite dramatic
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| Pay attention something terrible is soon to happen to Mrs. Tomato
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| In a second she will walk into the street not looking left or right
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| Completely unaware of an approaching vehicle
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| The truck was driving fast who doesn’t see her
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| What will happen to Mrs. Tomato?
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| I’m driving yeah I’m driving down the road a blast
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| And I call me Mr. Cucumber woah
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| Yes I’m driving driving down the road a blast
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| If you can call this a life, honey
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| But I just can’t find no healer
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| In this big old 18-wheeler
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| Still I’m driving down the road a blast well
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| SPLAT!
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| What was that? |
| I think I hit something
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| Yes indeed you did; |
| you just ran over my wife, you idiot!
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| Officer Eggplant, Stockholm Police
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| Please step back; |
| what seems to be the problem?
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| This maniac driver ran over my wife
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| Oh I see then you’re under arrest (WHAT?)
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| By the way did anyone call for an ambulance
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| You don’t have to do that please let me through
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| Why I’m Dr. Celery; |
| let me have a look
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| She’s alive; |
| she’s breathing
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| Her heart is beating; |
| what a relief
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| Oh doctor tell me she’ll be fine
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| (Doctor doctor tell me she’ll be fine)
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| Just give her a week or two and she’ll recover
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| To a perfectly normal vegetable again
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| (A perfectly normal vegetable again)
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| Come on come on come on come on
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| Catch up come on Ketchup come on
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| Come on come on come on come on
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| Ketchup come on HA HA HA HA HA
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| Hey Lisa we really gotta get going
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| But I don’t want people to see me like this
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| I think you look absolutely smashing
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| Can’t you see I’m in a total mess
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| You look find; |
| I think you lost some weight
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| I feel like I just got run over by a truck
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| Please stop whining and pull yourself together
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| This is not a joke (Yes it is, yes it is)
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| I’m not a laughing matter (Yes you are, yes you are)
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| We’ll you stop singing (No we won’t, no we won’t)
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| Why not? |
| (It's our job; it’s how we make our money)
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| I see; |
| can I join you even if I’m a little flat
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| Yes you can, yes you can cause you’re very funny funny
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| Come on come on come on come on
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| Catch up come on Ketchup come on
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| Come on come on come on come on
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| Ketchup come on HA HA HA HA HA
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| What a joke, what a laugh, what a punchline
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| The two tomatoes, the funniest thing in the world
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| If you by any chance didn’t get it
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| Here’s a recap, a summary for you
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| The two tomatoes walking down the street
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| In the marvelous city of Stockholm
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| First we have Mr. Anders Tomato
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| And next to him Mrs. Lisa Tomato
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| The two tomatoes are on the way to see
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| The most amazing show with The Real Group
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| Suddenly without a warning Mr. Cucumber
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| Drives his truck into Lisa Tomato
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| SPLAT!
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| In a second the tomato all red and round
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| Turns into a wet spot flat on the ground
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| Mr. Anders Tomato and Mr. Cucumber got into an argument
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| And would have start a fighting book
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| Officer Eggplant, Stockholm Police arrested the reckless driver
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| And furthermore Dr.
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| Celery luckily confirmed that Lisa Tomato was still alive
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| And well enough to be a part of a corny joke
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| HA HA HA HA HA
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| Come on come on come on come on
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| Catch up come on Ketchup come on
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| Come on come on come on come on
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| HA HA HA HA HA
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| HA HA HA HA HA
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| HA HA HA HA HA
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| Funny funny funny funny
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| Two tomatoes
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| SPLAT! |